


Something Brave From Your Mouth

by MorganEilish



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Also some fluff, Anal Sex, Attempted sex while under the influence, Discussions of past rape/non-con, Explicit Sexual Content, Hair Pulling, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Slow Burn, Some angst, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, also a lot of plot, discussion of suicide as a backup plan, discussions of how consent works, it isn't just sex guys, kink negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganEilish/pseuds/MorganEilish
Summary: Rey returns from Ahch-To with Luke and tries to get settled into life on the Resistance Base. Leia and Luke struggle to reconcile with each other. Finn navigates personal relationships.





	1. The Sound of the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'ed by my wonderful friends [thethirstorder](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiserPhoenix/pseuds/thethirstorder) and [no_regrets_coyote](http://archiveofourown.org/users/athenadevice/pseuds/no_regrets_coyote).
> 
> Artwork by the super talented [paperheartlines](http://paperheartlines.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Title from [Truth No.2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7qlp-gxESM) by the Dixie Chicks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to the base with Luke in tow and is confronted with Finn and Poe's relationship. Finn informs Poe of his feelings for Rey. And Leia confronts Luke about his disappearance.

Poe found Finn waiting outside the briefing room for him and BB-8 when they left their meeting with General Organa and the other squadron commanders. 

“Hey beautiful,” he greeted his boyfriend with a quick kiss. “Care to join me for dinner?”

“I was just about to ask you that,” Finn smiled. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

BB-8 looked from Finn to Poe and after a minute started chirping impatiently.

“What’s up with B?” Finn asked, which only caused her to beep faster.

Poe crouched down beside BB-8 and put a hand on her side. “Hey, hey! BB, buddy, Finn doesn’t understand you yet.” 

She repeated the same string of chirps and beeps but slower this time.

“I was getting to that, don’t worry I’m not gonna forget to tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Finn asked.

“Why don’t we take our dinner back to our place and we can talk about it and whatever it is that you said you wanted to tell me?” Poe said, putting his arm around Finn’s shoulder and leading him to the mess hall.

The men spooned some curried gorak into their bowls and grabbed a few small rolls of sweet bread. Finn collected a few of his favourite fruits and put them in the pocket of his jacket. On their way out the mess, they bumped into General Organa.

“You tell him the news yet, Commander?” she asked smiling at them.

“No one’s told me anything,” Finn grumbled, “but whatever it is, BB-8 seems pretty excited about it.”

“I was gonna share over dinner, ma’am,” Poe replied. “Unless you’d like to tell him yourself.”

“No I won’t interrupt your evening,” Leia winked at Poe. “You two enjoy yourselves.”

“Yes, General,” Finn nodded.

“You too, ma’am,” Poe smiled.

When they got to the dorm they shared, they placed their food in the middle of the bed. Finn settled against the headboard. Poe poured them each a glass of water, setting them down on their trays before stretching out on his side.

“So what did you want to talk to me about, love?” he asked Finn.

“Nuh uh,” Finn mumbled, mouth full of food. He swallowed before continuing, “You first. The suspense is killing me.”

“What do you think, B?” Poe turned to the droid who’d followed them back. “Should I tell him now, or make him wait a little longer?”

BB-8 tilted her head and rolled herself closer to the bed, chirping quickly.

“Okay B, you win,” Poe laughed. “You’re lucky BB-8 is so impatient for me to tell you.”

“Tell me what, BB?”

“The General says Rey and Luke are coming home. They’ll be here in two days.”

Finn dropped his half-eaten roll back into his bowl, his face lighting up, “No way! Rey’s coming home? For real?”

“Yeah buddy,” Poe chuckled at his reaction. He knew Finn would be more excited than BB-8 about Rey’s return, which was saying something considering how his droid talked about Rey every chance she could. He also knew Finn had a crush on her. Poe tried not to let it bother him too much, she was all the way across the galaxy training and it’s not like he hadn’t ever dated a couple people at the same time before. Still with Rey coming back, he was a little worried his boyfriend might decide that he’d rather be with her. She was closer to his age, after all and quite attractive.

“You’re not making this up to tease me are you?”

“Gorgeous, I think we both know that there are more fun and effective ways for me to tease you,” Poe joked, biting his lip and giving Finn a pointed look. “Besides do you really think BB-8 would’ve been begging me to tell you if it wasn’t true?”

“BB could’ve been reminding you to set the parking brake on your X-wing or telling you you’re out of toothpaste for all I know, Poe.”

“We really need to teach you binary, don’t we, BB?”

BB-8 beeped in agreement.

Poe took another bite of his food. “So,” he said with his mouth full of bread, “what’d you wanna talk to me about?”

“Actually it’s also about Rey,” Finn said.

Poe set his tray off to the side and placed his hand gently on Finn’s ankle, rubbing his thumb around the bone. He took a deep breath to prepare himself for what he was sure would follow. He must’ve made a face because Finn suddenly looked very concerned and began stammering.

“No, no, it’s not that- I mean I really do- It’s just that she’s-“

“It’s ok, Finn,” Poe said softly. “I can handle it.”

“You don’t know what it is though,” Finn replied.

“I have a guess, but you’re right; I don’t know for sure.” He watched as his boyfriend closed his eyes for a moment and breathed, trying to calm himself down. Poe continued running his thumb gently around Finn’s ankle.

“I like you, but I think I might also like Rey in the same way?” Finn finally started slowly, sounding a little unsure. The rest came out all in one breath. “I don’t really know for sure because in the First Order liking someone generally resulted in reconditioning and also because she’s across the freaking galaxy. But I think I like her... like I like you. Can a person like two people at the same time? Can a person be with two people at the same time? Do you like Rey too?”

“I’ve done it before,” Poe gave Finn what he hoped was an encouraging smile. He was somewhat relieved that his boyfriend didn’t seem to be leaving him for the young Jedi at the moment. “There are a lot of ways a relationship can involve more than two people.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. You just have to make sure everyone involved is 100% aware of it and is okay with the situation.”

“So how does it work?”

“Well, you can have an open relationship where there’s a primary couple, and each partner is also welcome to see other people on the side. That’s not actually uncommon on the base since a lot of the time people aren’t necessarily stationed near their loved ones for long periods of time. Although that doesn’t sound like quite what you were thinking of.”

“Not exactly, no,” Finn said looking puzzled.

“Right okay well I’ve had a few poly relationships where there were three or more of us all dating each other. But I don’t know Rey that well and she doesn’t really know me so it could take a bit of time to form something like that and there's a chance it might not happen. I am open to trying though. And I am okay with you dating both Rey and me separately from each other, provided she is also okay with that. This is, however, the kind of discussion that should involve her as well. These kinds of things only work if there’s open communication between everyone involved. Otherwise things tend to turn south real fast.”

“So you’re not upset? You think this could work?”

Poe moved up the bed so he could cup Finn’s cheek and look him in the eyes. “I’m not upset and I’m sure we could come up with some kind of arrangement to make this work if that’s what you and Rey both want.”

Finn pulled Poe’s face closer, tangling his fingers in his hair and kissed him slowly. Poe opened his mouth and let out a soft moan, climbing onto Finn’s lap.

BB-8 left the room grumbling something about how weird it was that biological creatures feel the need to rub themselves against one another.

\---

Finn lay awake for a while after Poe fell asleep spooned against his back. He’d been so worried that he’d need to decide between his boyfriend and Rey. Telling him how he felt lifted a huge weight off his chest and he was thrilled that Poe was okay with it.

But now he had to have the same discussion with Rey and he worried that she might not feel the same. Poe had done this before. Finn had no idea what Rey’s experiences were but from what he’d seen of her, he doubted she’d ever actually had a proper real relationship. And he hadn’t either. Not before Poe anyway. He was still figuring out how relationships work. He hadn’t realized how hard it’d be worrying about how another person would feel about every choice he made. Or what it would be like worrying about whether or not his boyfriend was safe every time he went out on mission. He worried about Rey too.

Now he understood why the First Order had rules against forming attachments; why his comrades had been sent in for reconditioning when they were caught. There weren’t rules against fraternizing with other stormtroopers though. On the contrary, sometimes it was ordered by the higher ups either to please a superior officer or as part of their breeding program. The generals occasionally picked out the most obedient and skilled soldiers and paired them up with the belief that mixing the genes from the best soldiers would make an even better generation of new stormtroopers. Finn had never been obedient enough to be selected for the program, but he was okay with that.

He’d had the odd sexual encounter with comrades. A few minutes in the night with men and women he’d been stationed with, but that was nothing like what he had with Poe. It was nothing like what he wanted with Rey. There was no emotion, it was just a quick fix – a temporary way to deal with the fact that they were treated as and meant to act like droids. What he had now, his relationship with Poe, he’d felt like he’d been missing something for a long time but he had no idea how much he’d wanted this until he actually had it. And he was so worried that maybe Rey wouldn’t want to be a part of it.

He also knew Poe didn’t necessarily feel how he felt about the girl. He didn’t really know her. But when he and Poe started hooking up at first it had just been a casual thing until it suddenly wasn’t. Maybe it could be like that with Rey.

\---

“Coming out of hyperspace now, Luke,” Rey called over the comm. “We’ll be landing in a few minutes. Chewie, they’ll be looking for the authorization code.”

The wookie moaned a confirmation and began typing in the code. Rey began pulling levers and hitting switches to bring them out. D’Qar popped up in front of them as soon as they’d slowed to sublight speed. A light on the dash flashed on, indicating the resistance base had hailed them.

“Chewie send it now, I don’t want them shooting us out of the sky!”

“Whrrrrrr!” Chewie replied indignantly, hitting send.

“Now is not the time to get defensive about the capabilities of the Falcon’s shields, and if you scare the General, you know she’ll be wearing your hide as a coat when winter hits.”

They hit the upper layer of D’Qar’s atmosphere and a shout came from the hall behind them as the ship began to shake.

“Luke, I told you we were landing,” Rey shouted. “You should’ve gotten yourself strapped in.”

“Kriff Rey, who the hell taught you to land?”

“My landing is just fine, you’re the one not wearing a seatbelt,” Rey replied, steering the ship towards the Resistance camp.

“If you didn't keep modifying the ship, it wouldn't be this rough,” Luke replied, getting himself strapped into a passenger's seat. “What'd you do, remove the stabilizer?”

“I was bored and it was wearing out anyways. Besides, if you'd started training me already like you were supposed to, I wouldn't have spent the last few months taking the ship apart.”

That silenced any more criticism Luke might have had.

Lights began flashing indicating they were getting close enough to the ground so Rey hit the air brakes, slowing their descent. She landed them softly on the tarmac and began powering down the engines, checking to make sure there wasn’t anything she’d need to go in and repair later.

“You ready to face the General?”

“I’ll probably never be ready to face my sister, but she knows I’m here now so it’d be better to just get it over with,” Luke rubbed at his beard.

“Okay great,” Rey responded, “we’re all good here.” She threw her staff over her shoulder and led Chewie and Luke out of the bridge to the ramp that R2-D2 was lowering.

A crowd was waiting for them outside the ship and as soon as they reached the ground they were surrounded by pilots and mechanics and droids all talking excitedly and trying to get a look at Luke Skywalker. Rey couldn’t blame them, the man was a legend.

The crowd parted and the General walked up followed by C-3P0. Everyone was suddenly completely silent. She stopped in front of Luke and after looking at him for a minute, she smacked him in the face.

“General!” C-3P0 exclaimed. “That is no way to greet a Jedi Master!”

“Threepio!” Luke greeted the droid, a hand on his reddened cheek. “It’s okay, I definitely deserved that. It’s nice to see you too, Leia.”

“With me,” the General barked at him. “Rey, C-3P0 will show you to the mess hall, I’m sure you’ll be wanting a proper meal. You can get settled in and we’ll debrief you tomorrow. Luke and I have some matters to discuss.”

Rey turned to the droid who was looking between Luke and the General and muttering about manners. “Still haven’t gotten your arm fixed have you?” She asked him, leading him away from the twins.

“The droid mechanics don’t agree that it’s a matter of utmost importance!” Threepio moaned. “They think the red one is good enough, but I don’t even look like myself anymore! It’s just wrong!”

Rey giggled, shaking her head, “I don’t believe that.”

“I know! But maybe Master Luke will be able to convince them now that he’s back. He is back right?”

“Well it took a bit of convincing, but yeah I think he’ll be sticking around for a while.”

“Has he started training you?”

“That might take a little more convincing,” Rey said. “I did the best I could but whatever happened that made him run away… Hopefully the General can talk him into it.”

\---

“How is Rey’s training going?” Leia asked her brother when they got to her office.

“I’m not training any more Jedi,” Luke replied, sitting in the chair across from her desk. “I’m not giving the dark side any more padawans.”

“If you don’t teach her, Snoke will get to her like he did my son. We need Force users on our side too. You can’t go up against the First Order on your own.”

“I’m sorry about Han, Leia. And about Ben.”

“Ben wasn’t your fault,” Leia said softly.

“I was training him. I should have figured out what was happening before he-“

“-Before he killed all his classmates?” Leia snapped, shaking a little. Her voice grew louder as she continued, “I knew Snoke was speaking to him. I knew he was trying to turn him over to the dark side. I knew that from the moment we discovered he was gifted. And I did nothing! I was his mother and what did I do? I sent him away! Ben was not your fault, Luke. He was mine.”

“You couldn’t have stopped him,” Luke placed a hand on hers from across the desk.

“I damn well could have tried,” she quickly wiped at her watery eyes before her tears could fall. She couldn’t cry over her son or her husband, not right now. And she’d already spilled plenty of tears over them and her brother in the years since they left.

“I’m sorry.”

“You left me, Luke!” She yelled. “Ben left, then you. And do you know what that did to Han?”

Luke bowed his head, “Yes.”

“He loved you too!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I lost my son, my brother, and my husband. I lost my planet and my adoptive father. I lost my seat in the senate when word of who our parents were spread. The entire senate was destroyed by a bigger, more powerful Death Star. My husband came back to me and my son killed him. Luke, you cannot leave again. I’ve been fighting on my own for way too long.”

“Leia, you’re not alone. You were never alone.”

“You were so far out I couldn’t even feel you! I thought you had died!” she took a deep breath trying to regain control.

“I know, Leia.”

“You will train this girl,” Leia told him. “There’s a light in her. I can feel it. She’s warm and good. We need to keep her that way.”

“I don’t know if I can do it,” Luke looked up at her, his eyes watery as well.

“We need her.”

“Okay,” Luke said so quietly she almost didn’t hear him, “I’ll try.”

\---

“Hey Threepio?” Rey asked when they were halfway to the mess hall.

“Yes Miss Rey?”

“Do you know where Finn is?”

“I do not,” the droid replied. “Although given the hour he is most likely either in his bunk or in the rec hall.”

“Could you take me there?”

“Princess Leia said to get you dinner and then show you to your quarters.”

“I ate before we landed and my quarters are the same as I left them, are they not?”

“Well yes,” C-3P0 replied. “If you know your way around, then why am I showing you?”

“Threepio I think you know the answer to that already,” Rey smiled, shaking her head.

C-3P0 huffed at her and Rey suppressed a laugh. “Oh dear the princess is going to skin Luke alive isn’t she? Oh I never should have left her alone with him! He’s the only hope we have of ever defeating the First Order! Oh he’s probably dead already! Why did I do what the princess told me?”

“Threepio relax,” Rey stopped the droid. “The General knows we need Luke. Do you really think she would have had Chewie and I fly all the way out to the far end of the galaxy to fetch him if she was just going to kill him?”

“I have known her a lot longer than you, Miss Rey, and I would not put it out of the realm of possibility.”

“She’s not going to kill him and you’re going to take me to Finn,” Rey told the droid.

Threepio grumbled some more about princesses but stopped arguing with her. She followed him to the rec building where they found a group of pilots sitting around playing music. Some of them had instruments and some were just clapping along to the rhythm. It was a catchy tune and some of the other recruits were absently dancing to it while they played cards or read. Poe and one of the women were taking turns singing the lyrics. Rey stayed back listening to the music. 

“ _ And I’ll bring you pearls of water on my hips _  
_ And the love in my lips _ ”

Poe’s voice was soft and strong and his fingers flew over the strings of his instrument. Despite the lively melody, his words sounded sad and a little angry. She had only spoken to him a few times, mostly over Finn’s sleeping body as he recovered from the wound Kylo Ren had given him when he tried to save her. She remembered thinking he had nice eyes – kind. They were closed as he sang like the music was somewhere inside him and he had to look for it.

Finn was sitting at his feet, staring up at him like he hung the stars in the sky and something in Rey’s chest ached to see it. She’d been hoping that maybe he’d look at her like that, but it was clear from across the room how besotted he was with Poe. She’d been away too long and it looked like she missed her chance.

Just then BB-8 saw her, and began beeping wildly,barrelling towards her, pushing past the other Resistance members in the way. The music trailed off and everyone looked up to see what the commotion was.

“Uh, hey,” Rey said awkwardly. “Hi BB-8.”

BB-8 rammed into her legs, a continuous stream of binary flowing from her speakers. Rey crouched down trying to get the droid to stop or take a break.

“She’s been talking about you non-stop since you left,” Poe said leaning his instrument against the wall beside him and standing up. “I’ve never actually seen her this attached to a person who wasn’t me before.”

“You’re back,” Finn said scrambling off the ground and running towards her. He picked her up in a hug, squeezing her. She still wasn’t used to being touched so much, but this, this  was nice.

“Um, yeah,” Rey replied when he let her go, not really knowing what else to say.

“Did you bring Luke?” Finn asked. “How was the trip? Have you started training yet?”

“Master Skywalker is currently with Princess Leia in her office. I’m dreadfully worried that she’s going to kill him. I really should be getting back to check on them,” C-3P0 replied for Rey who was a little busy trying to stop BB-8 from bowling her over.

“Threepio, I already told you the General won’t kill Luke,” she said sounding a little exasperated. “Trip was okay. Long. And I have not started training. Luke won’t teach me. BB, you need to calm down or you’re gonna break something.”

The little droid continued her enthusiastic beeping.

“I know I’ll probably be able to fix it but that doesn’t mean you should break anything in the first place. Yes, I’m staying for a while. No, I don’t know how long, that’s up to the General, don’t you think?”

“BB-8,” Poe said a little sharply to get the droid’s attention, “Leave Rey be. You’ll have plenty of time to spend with her over the next little while. You can tell her all about your adventures later.”

“Thanks,” Rey said, looking up at Poe when the droid moved back a little and had stopped her frantic beeping. She’d turned to Finn who was staring at her like he couldn’t quite believe she was real. “You look well,” she told him.

Finn scratched at the back of his head, looking at the ground, “Oh, uh, thanks. I’m all healed now.”

“That’s um- I’m glad to hear it,” Rey stuttered a little unsure what else to say to him. She wanted to tell him how she felt but she didn’t really want to do it in front of an audience and the other pilots were staring at them trying to listen in on their conversation.

“Hey, uh, guys?” Poe finally said. “Why don’t we go somewhere we can talk? C-3P0 you can take BB-8 to go see R2-D2. I assume he came back with you and Luke, Rey?”

“Uh yeah, he did,” Rey responded, still staring at Finn who was having a hard time looking her in the eye.

BB-8 tried to argue with Poe but the pilot gave her a pointed look and she stopped and turned to C-3P0 and asked where R2-D2 was.

“Well I left him with Master Luke,” C-3P0 responded. “I imagine he’s probably still on the Millennium Falcon.”

The two droids left with BB-8 suggesting that the other Resistance droids would probably want to see R2-D2 now that he’s back on the base and no longer powered down.

“Great,” Poe said grabbing his instrument and putting his other arm around Finn’s back, steering him and Rey out of the building as well. “I imagine you two have a few things to discuss, so if you want I can leave you to it.”

“Are you sure?” Finn asked Poe in a way that made Rey think that he wasn’t exactly asking if Poe was sure about leaving them alone.

“No you can stay,” Rey responded before Poe could. It was becoming alarmingly clear to her that the two men were together. “Actually I think it might be best if I find my bunk and get myself settled for the night, you know? It’s been a long flight.”

“Oh,” Finn said sounding a little disappointed. “Yeah we can, um, take you there. It’s near ours.”

“You two, uh—” Rey didn’t really know how to finish that sentence so she left it hanging. “I think I remember where it is.”

“Alright, well, we’re headed back that way anyways,” Poe said, ignoring Rey’s half asked question much to her relief. “We’ll walk with you if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Rey said, figuring it was easier than arguing with them.

\---

“Just give her a little time to settle in,” Poe told his clearly disappointed boyfriend when they shut the door behind them. “She’s been flying for over a week. She’s probably exhausted.”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “But I was hoping that I could at least talk to her.”

“I know buddy, but she’s not going anywhere for the next little while. I’m pretty sure the General is planning on having Luke train her at the base. I can talk to her tomorrow if you want. Here, why don’t we put on a holodrama. I found a new one that I don’t think I’ve shown you yet. You’ll love it.”

Finn nodded and crawled up onto the bed, snuggling into Poe.

\---

Rey didn’t really have anything to unpack. She’d only brought her staff, Luke’s lightsaber, and the clothes she’d been wearing to the island, so it took her no time to get settled in. She cleaned herself up in the fresher down the hall, still marvelling at how much water the Resistance Base had access too. On Jakku the freshers they had were all sonic. The planet didn’t have much in the way of water and no one would even dream of using it to clean themselves.

She moved quickly wanting to avoid talking to anyone. She wasn’t in the mood to answer a bunch of questions about Luke. She still didn’t know much about him. Not much more than they did anyways. He refused to train her, though he wouldn’t tell her why. She didn’t feel okay rooting through his head to figure it out either. Doing it to Kylo Ren had disturbed her greatly, and she’d only done it then accidentally. Plus he had already opened the door between their minds making it much easier for her to slip through. But she didn’t know how to do that herself, and she knew Luke would feel her rooting around in there if she tried.

Back in her room, she curled up in her bed and tried to talk herself out of feeling disappointed that Finn was with Poe. They seemed really happy, and that’s what she’d wanted for Finn. She had been gone for a long time. It was a ten-day trip from D’Qar to the planet Luke had run away to and it had taken her a while to convince him to make the return trip with her. And it wasn’t like there was any kind of agreement that Finn would wait for her. She’d thought he might be interested in her, but it was entirely possible he was just being friendly. Growing up as she did, it was awfully hard to tell the difference.

\---

It was pretty late when Leia showed her brother to his quarters. She’d set up his apartment down the hall from hers, so it wasn’t a long walk back to her bed. She unbraided and brushed out her hair with shaky hands, struggling to keep herself from falling apart. It seemed to her she spent a lot of energy holding herself together lately, but confronting Luke after so much time was harder than she’d thought it would be.

_ You don’t have time to fall apart right now _ , she kept repeating to herself.  _ You have a war to win. There will be time to feel everything later _ .

She was worried if she fell apart, if she allowed herself to feel, she would get lost in it; she wouldn’t be able to pull herself out. Leia Organa had lost so much more than any one person should ever be able to, and she was sure she wasn’t done yet. The war had barely begun. There was so much work for her to still do.

The only good that had come out of the last few months was the surge in volunteers since the destruction of the Hosnian system. She didn't need to send Karé and Poe out on recruitment missions anymore. Instead, they set up contacts in a number of systems that had aligned themselves with the Populists and recruits were vetted by them before being sent to D’Qar for training.

She crawled into bed and closed her eyes, and tried to will the nightmares to stay away. In the morning she’d sit down with Rey and discuss her mission and her role in the fight.

\---

Rey woke before first light. She went down to the mess hall to grab something to eat. She still didn’t know what most of the foods they served actually were, but they were all significantly better than the rations she’d grown up with. Most of the camp wasn’t up yet so she was able to grab an empty table. Halfway through her meal Poe sat down across from her.

“Good morning,” he said, digging into his own food.

“Hi.”

“Sorry about BB-8 last night. She seems to be pretty attached to you. I’ve never seen her behave like that around anyone before.”

“It’s okay,” Rey said softly, “I’ve been hit with worse.”

Poe let out a quiet laugh, “That’s probably true. You know, she isn’t the only one happy to have you back. Finn’s been asking the General when you were gonna return ever since he woke up.”

Rey didn’t really know how to respond to that so she took another bite of her breakfast.

“You’re pretty popular with the other pilots as well,” he continued. “The Falcon is a pretty infamous ship and most of us would give anything to be able to fly it. Plus since BB-8’s been spreading the word about your piloting skills, they all think you might be giving me a run for my money as best pilot in the Resistance. And the mechanics are real impressed with the modifications and repairs you made to the ship.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Rey finally said, “I’m not a threat to you.”

“I'm sorry?” Poe sputtered.

“I mean, I’m not going to get between you and Finn. You clearly make him happy and I should probably focus on my training anyways. I doubt even Luke can refuse the General and I’m sure she tried to talk him into teaching me how to use the Force at some point in their discussions last night.” She paused and took a deep breath, willing her hands to stop shaking. “So you don’t have to worry because I am not a threat to you or to your relationship. I’m happy that he’s happy.”

Poe stared at her blankly for a minute. “Okay,” he began carefully. “Well the pilots are throwing you and Luke a welcome home party tonight at the rec building. The General gave us the okay when we got your ETA so there’s no early morning drills for any of us tomorrow. And Jess is donating her latest batch of moonshine to the occasion. You should be there. And you should talk to Finn,” he finally told her while getting up to leave. 

“Oh and the General wants to see you in the briefing room at 08:00 for your debrief. C-3P0 was looking for you when I got up.”

\---

Poe headed out to his X-wing to do the pre-flight checks for the drills he was running that morning. He was a little distracted trying to figure out how to explain to Finn that things probably wouldn’t work out exactly how he wanted them to between Poe and Rey anytime soon that it took him a while to realize the distressed binary he heard from all the way outside the hangar was BB-8 harassing one of the newer mechanics.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Poe asked her, running up to where she was angrily rolling in place.

BB-8 let out a string of exasperated beeps in reply.

“Language B!” Poe admonished the droid. “I’m sorry,” he said to the nervous mechanic. “BB-8 is very protective of our girl. I'm Poe Dameron. You must be our new technician.”

“S’ok Commander,” the mechanic mumbled. “It was my fault. I attached the fuel line wrong. BB-8 was just correcting me. I’ll leave you two to it then. Sorry about that,” and he ran off.

“Buddy, what have I told you about being nice to the mechanics?”

BB-8 whistled.

“Exactly, if we’re mean to them they won’t fix our bird when she needs repair.”

The droid whistled again.

“Rey doesn’t have time to fix her, B. It’s not her job. And they keep me busy so I can only do minor repairs. If we get into a firefight, I won’t have time to repair the damage.”

All the pilots knew everything about their ships. They weren't allowed to fly them if they couldn't fix them. But with more and more people joining the Resistance since Starkiller Base destroyed several planets, they were now able to keep a dedicated team of mechanics to free up more of the pilots’ time and keep more birds in the air.

Oddy Muva had be fueling and fixing the Black Squadron’s birds since Poe was put in charge of it, but since they'd lost so many pilots and he had been training to be a pilot in his off time, Poe had requested he be assigned an X-wing in Black Squadron. The General granted the request and today’s drills were to make sure his team would be ready if they were needed.

Poe started running through the checklist and by the time he was finished the rest of his squadron had assembled by their own ships.

\---

General Organa, Greer Sonnel, C-3P0, and a few other senior resistance officers were already waiting for Rey when she arrived at the briefing room a few minutes early. She’d assumed Luke would be there as well, but he wasn’t. They gestured towards an empty chair, indicating that she should sit down.

“It’s good to see you again, Rey,” Greer smiled. “I’ll be debriefing you. Just a reminder before we start that C-3P0 will be recording us.”

“Of course, Ms. Sonnel,” Rey said.

“Good, then let’s begin. Tell us about the flight to Master Luke’s location.”

She spent the next hour describing the flight there, what the planet was like, and their trip back a few times. They asked her if the planet was inhabited, and whether or not they’d come into contact with any First Order operatives. They wanted to know about the star system the planet was located in since it was so far out that it wasn’t a part of any of their known maps. When she’d finished describing the trip for the fourth time the admiral thanked her.

“Now,” the General said, “I’d like to know if you are still interested in being a part of the Resistance.”

Rey didn’t even have to think about that, “If I can help stop the First Order from destroying more villages and planets, then I don’t think I could pass that up.”

The General smiled, “I thought as much, which is why I’ve convinced Luke to start training you in the Force. While your skills as a pilot and as a mechanic are incredible, we need trained Force users in order to stand a chance against the First Order. I can sense your abilities. They’re stronger than any of the other Force-sensitive members of our camp. Luke will be training a number of other Resistance members as well once he gets settled, so you likely won’t be the only one.”

“I kind of figured you'd want that,” Rey nodded. “I asked him to train me when I got to his island, but he kept refusing. I know something happened but he wouldn’t say what. I just know it has something to do with Kylo Ren.”

The other officers all nervously looked towards Leia, a few of them whispering to each other.

“Kylo Ren is the name my son chose when he joined the First Order,” Leia replied. “Han and I named him Ben, When he was old enough we sent him off with Luke to be trained. But he took after my father. He accepted the dark side, killed the rest of Luke’s students, and joined Snoke. Luke wasn’t the same after.”

“Oh,” Rey looked down, unsure of what to say..

“That’s why Luke has been so hesitant. But it is imperative that we have trained Force users on our side to regain balance in the Force and stop the First Order from taking control of everything. Luke agrees with me. He’ll start your training this afternoon.It’ll take time for you to master the Force, but we don’t have a lot of it left. Destroying Starkiller Base only buys us so much.”

“I understand.”

“Good, Leia said. “You are dismissed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title and song lyrics also from [Truth No.2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7qlp-gxESM) by the Dixie Chicks.


	2. Some Learn to Fly, Some Will Run For Their Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey begins her Force training. Finn and Poe work on training their squadrons. The base gets ready to party.

“You seem to be fitting in rather well,” Jessika Pava glanced back at Finn through the fresher mirror when he stepped out of the shower. “I guess one army base isn't that different from another, is it?”

“It's a hell of a lot nicer here. You guys all have your own bunks which is something I don't think I can ever get used to and the rules are much more relaxed.”

“The First Order is that strict?” Jess asked. She turned to face him while she plaited her hair into a tight braid.

“I guess you'd have to be when your army is composed entirely of kidnapped and brainwashed children,” Finn joked. 

He didn't really like talking about the First Order to many people because sometimes he’d mention something that to him seemed completely normal like the stormtrooper breeding program or the propaganda that served as their education and they’d always look at him strangely or go quiet.

Jess shivered at the thought and changed the topic, “So you've been bunking with Poe yeah? You're hitting that right? Or is that just a not used to sleeping in your own bunk kinda thing?”

“Started out that way,” Finn chuckled, “but now he's my boyfriend.”

“Well I hope you treat him right,” Jess smiled and headed for the door, “Force knows he knows how to treat you.” She winked at him before the door shut behind her.

Finn rushed through the rest of his morning routine and ran out to the range where he was training the new recruits on how to use a variety of different blasters. General Organa had felt that because he was trained in combat by the First Order, he was better qualified than most to train the recruits how to fight the stormtroopers in battle. Some of them had military training from the Academy but most were civilians who wanted to help the cause. The General had said she hoped with Starkiller Base destroyed that they’d have enough time to train them before the First Order struck again, which is why the civilians weren’t being sent away. Finn hoped she was right because some of them had a long way to go.

Each class started with a different type of blaster from the armoury. The Resistance was operating on whatever they could get their hands on so they didn't have a set model they used like the First Order did. 

He’d have the recruits take them apart and reassemble them until they all could do it in under 30 seconds. This was his first group and they’d been training for a few weeks now, so they were starting to pick up on how each new weapon worked a little faster. Once they were fast enough for his liking, he had each of them practice shooting with some old target droids that the General acquired off an old friend working in the military academy.

Since they were getting better at it, he decided to split them into teams and had the droids run mission simulations so they’d learn strategy and cooperation. It was similar to how he was trained except for the fact that these recruits didn’t face any kind of punishment if they didn’t do as well as they were expected to.

“Hey! Juda,” Finn called out to a young woman crouched behind some debris on the field, “if you want to stay there, you need to help provide cover for your teammates.”

She peeked her head up over the rubble and lined up her blaster so her shots would arc over her team mates and land in the general direction of the enemies the droids were projecting. Finn walked down the field to observe the next group, correcting poor form, and suggesting maneuvers where teams were struggling.

“Chas, you don't want to lower your weapon in combat unless you're surrendering,” he called to a man who kept dropping his aim after each blast.

Finn ran a hand through his hair. They weren't terrible. Some of them were highly skilled. But most had clearly never had any sort of formal training before. He wasn't sure he'd be able to get them to a point where they had a chance against one of his old comrades.

\---

Luke found a quiet area in the forest a little away from the base to clear his mind before he began training Rey. He sat down beneath a tree, nestled in its roots, closing his eyes and reached out with his mind, feeling the Force around and within him. The forest on D’Qar was not nearly as old as the one on his island. It was full of new growth, excited, vibrant, and full of hope. Older forests tended to feel quieter, more muted, and they gave of a sense of strength. He let the forest talk to him, following the ebb and flow of the Force through the trees with his mind. He followed it up their branches and then back down, deep underground where their roots connected and intertwined.

He could see why Leia chose to set up base here. She’d always been drawn in by hope. It was what made her such a great senator. And he knew she still hoped her son could be saved, even after what he did to Han. Luke wasn’t so sure, but their father had returned in the end, so he couldn’t rule it out entirely. And Ben had been struggling more between the call to the light and the pull of the dark side the last time Luke saw him than Anakin did when he saved Luke from the Emperor.

Deeper in the forest, Luke found a river that glowed so brightly with the Force that even though he was miles away and wasn’t seeing it with his eyes, it was still hard to look at. He found freshwater usually held the Force a little stronger than most things, but it wasn’t usually this bright.

_ It must have force crystals growing along it _ , Luke thought to himself.  _ That’ll be good if Rey’s training progresses far enough for her to make her own lightsaber. _

He followed the river until it emptied into the ocean on the other side of the trees, the brightness of the Force dimming as the water spread out. Then he followed the path back to himself, sensing it was time to call Rey to her training.

“Rey,” Luke projected to her. He could sense her confusion; knew she was looking around trying to figure out where his voice was coming from.

“Luke?” he heard her respond.

“Rey, time for your first lesson. Come out to the forest near the west side of the base.”

She arrived just outside the trees a few minutes later, her staff slung over her shoulder and what looked like a full canteen of water clipped to her belt.

“Good. Follow me,” he said before he walked back into the forest to the tree he had spent the morning meditating under. “We’ll meet here every day except rest days. I find it easiest to learn to feel the Force under a tree. They are excellent conductors and they are quieter than flowing water is, so you won’t be distracted as easily. Pick a tree and get settled.”

Rey nodded, removing her staff and kneeling down in the roots of the widest one. He watched her almost reverently run a hand a few feet up its trunk before turning and sitting cross legged facing him.

“In order to be able to manipulate the Force into doing what you want it to, first you need to be able to see it and feel it. You can’t do that if you are distracted, so you need to learn to centre yourself. We do that through meditation. It’s important you don’t let your mind wander, understood?”

“And this will help us stop the First Order?” Rey asked.

“You can’t control the Force if you are not centred. Now close your eyes. Listen to the forest around you; the movement of wind through the leaves, the animals burrowing in the soil, the birds flying past overhead. Let them drown out your thoughts. Let your awareness expand beyond yourself. Feel the earth breathe around you.”

\---

Poe and his squadron all climbed into their cockpits and he led them up out of D’Qar’s atmosphere to a nearby asteroid field. Bombing runs and attack formations were best practiced with a target to hit and asteroid fields made for great targets.

“This is Black Leader, can you read me?” he asked, testing the comms before they started drills.

“Loud and clear, Commander,” came L’ulo’s response.

“I read you,” Temmin Wexley said.

“I read you too,” Oddy Muva said.

“So do I,” Jessika Pava chimed in.

“Me too Commander,” said Karé Kun.

“Alright, BB-8 I want you to send the coordinates of our target to everyone. Black Squadron we’ll be approaching from the right in Attack Formation Six. Stay in tight and don’t hit your buddy.”

They ran through the drill several times before moving to a different formation and then another after that. Poe had just recently added Muva to the flight team, so there were a few kinks to work out still, but nothing a week of drills wouldn’t fix. The Abednedo knew his way around a starfighter but he’d only just finished flight training and he was still getting used to flying with the squadron.

“Muva pull up!” Jess’ voice called out across the comms. “You’re right up Snap’s ass and he typically requires booze before he’s in the mood for that. Save it for tonight.”

“Jess!” Wexley protested.

“Over the line, Jess,” Poe scolded. “She’s right though, Muva, you’re getting too close to Snap.”

“Sorry Snap,” Oddy responded, pulling his X-wing up a little.

After running through a fourth attack formation until they all got it perfectly, Poe signalled it was time to head back to base and led them home. It took longer than he’d hoped to get through the drills, but Oddy showed promise and the resistance was desperate for pilots that knew their way around a ship.

\---

“You’re not focusing,” Luke told her for what must be the hundredth time.

Rey gave a frustrated sigh, shifting her position, “I don’t think I’m going to get this. Can’t we start with something else?”

“It’s a difficult skill to learn,” Luke said. “I struggled with it too when I started my training. It took a hell of a lot longer than one afternoon to master it. Now I can slip into a meditative state in seconds. If you keep practicing, it’ll become second nature to you as well.”

Rey sighed again. It was hard to focus when she didn’t know what she was supposed to be focusing on. She tried listening to the forest and the trees like Luke had instructed, but her mind would start to wander after a few minutes.

“You’re fighting something, I can feel it. It’s not easy for you to constantly have people around, is it?” Luke asked after a few minutes.

“We aren’t around people, we’re in the middle of a forest,” was Rey’s sharp reply.

“Why do you think that is? You spent years alone on Jakku, right?”

“There were other people there. It wasn’t like your island or anything.”

“People you spent a lot of time with?”

“I made a couple friends shortly before the First Order came. But they stole my ship before we could sell it. People leave,” Rey shrugged. “You get over it.”

“It sounds more like you’ve just gotten used to it. It’s not the same thing.”

“Maybe I had to.”

Luke looked at her for a minute before changing tactics. “Right, okay. Do you know why Jedi weren’t allowed to marry? Why we’re not even allowed personal relationships?”

“Why?”

“Partially because it was viewed as a distraction and partially because it could be used a leverage to turn a Jedi to the dark side. I’m not going to enforce those rules on you, I’m not training you to be a Jedi. But you are distracted.”

“What makes you think it’s a relationship that’s distracting me?”

“Instead of centring yourself, you’ve been projecting. Once you can centre yourself we can work on not projecting every feeling you have to every Force sensitive person nearby. For now though, I think it might be time to call it a day.”

“Wait, you’re not training me to be a Jedi?” Rey asked. “General Organa says they need me to know how to use the Force to stop the First Order.”

“The Jedi Order is dead, and I have no intention of reviving it,” Luke answered. “While it’s true the galaxy needs Force users on the side of the light, I feel there are a lot of things that the Order got wrong..”

“What’d they get wrong? Weren’t they the good guys?”

“The Jedi Order teaches that emotions must always be controlled and put aside. While I agree that usually it is best to keep a level head, and that always allowing your emotions to dictate your actions can quickly lead you to make rash decisions, I do feel that it not good to stifle your feelings. Just as the Force must have balance, so too must your mind. I also don’t believe that forming personal relationships and attachments to other people can only cause you distraction or be used as leverage to turn your heart dark. Personal relationships can give you strength when you most need it and healthy ones are full of honesty, compassion and loyalty which are all valuable attributes to learn and can only help you remain on the side of the light.”

“So if I wanted to, I could be with someone?” Rey asked slowly.

“You could. However, your training is still very important and I do expect you to be here every morning aside from rest days.”

“Rest days?”

“My sister runs a tight ship but she doesn’t expect people to work every day. It’s not good for morale. The base has a rest day every eight days. No classes, no drills. A day to do whatever you want. The next one is two days from now.”

“Oh,” Rey said, wondering what she was supposed to do with an entire day to herself.

Luke nodded, standing up. “Come, you’ll want to change before the party.”

\---

Finn walked into their bunk after calling an end to his class to find Poe undoing his flight suit. 

“I ever tell you how hot you look in that thing?” He asked, pulling his boyfriend towards him.

Poe chuckled, “Mmm once or twice, gorgeous, but I don’t think I’ll get tired of hearing it. How was your day?”

“About to get better,” Finn answered, moving in to kiss Poe.

Poe wrapped his arms around Finn’s waist and kissed him back, softly biting his lip. Finn felt him smiling under his lips when he pressed against him and let out a soft moan. He whimpered a minute later when Poe broke away pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“You know I’d love to start something now, but we’ve gotta get ready, love. I’ve gotta hit the fresher and you’ve gotta change into something that isn’t covered in mud.”

“I could join you,” Finn replied, eyes flashing. “I’m quite dirty, you said so yourself.”

“You really want half the barracks to hear you beg?” Poe smirked.

“You think that's gonna happen?” Finn shot back.

Poe leaned in, grabbing Finn’s ass and said low in his ear, “I'd say we’re halfway there already,” before letting go and heading out the door.

Finn groaned, his cock half hard from their teasing and began pulling his muddy clothes off. Realistically he knew now wasn’t a good time to follow Poe into the fresher for steamy sex – drills had just let out and there was a party tonight so almost everyone on their floor would be there getting ready. But he was already turned on and the thought of Poe naked and wet wasn’t helping. In the First Order there wasn't any privacy, so no one would think twice about a quickie in the fresher, and their freshers weren't even divided into stalls. But here people frowned upon that kind of thing.

He tossed the dirty clothes into the hamper and wrapped himself in a towel before heading out to the fresher alone.

\---

Rey shut the water off and stepped out of the stall bumping into a mostly naked Finn.

“Shit! I'm, uh, I'm sorry,” she stammered out trying to not look at his bare chest or think about the fact that neither one of them were wearing more than a towel as he reached for her waist to steady her.

“No harm done,” Finn smiled at her. “How was training?”

Rey scowled, “Not going so well.” She headed towards one of the mirrors to comb the water out of her hair spotting Poe at the other end of the row. He gave her a little smile and went back to styling his hair.

“You'll figure it out,” Finn told her. “It’s only your first day.”

“How was your day? What do they have you doing here?”

“Combat training. I'm teaching the new recruits how to handle a blaster.”

“You pull the trigger,” Rey said locking eyes with Finn in the mirror and smiling sadly. She remembered saying the same exact thing to Han outside Maz’s cantina.

“I miss him too,” Finn said, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

His hand felt warm and steady and for a moment she regretted promising Poe that she wasn’t a threat to his relationship. She glanced over at him again but he was talking to a very energetic dark haired woman.

“It’s funny how you can miss someone you barely knew,” Rey answered.

“Han was good. Seems like neither of us had much of that,” Finn rubbed his thumb up and down her shoulder.

“A lot of people here are good,” Rey said.

Finn didn’t respond. He just held her gaze in the mirror.

\---

“I think I have enough hooch to last us the night,” Jess hoisted herself up onto the counter beside Poe.

“Considering how much you guys usually drink, I doubt it.”

“Us guys?” Jess laughed. “I have never known you to turn down another drink, Dameron. What’s the matter? Getting old?”

“Thought you wanted your stash to last the night,” Poe countered.

“Good point, no booze for you. Too bad really ‘cause this batch is better than my last.”

“Unfortunate,” Poe responded dryly as he continued styling his hair.

“Finn tells me the Resistance’s most eligible bachelor has been snatched up.”

Poe gave her a pointed look, “Like you didn’t already know that.”

“I had my suspicions,” Jess shrugged. “He good to you?”

Poe smiled at Jess. She was the closest thing he had to a little sister. As ridiculous as she could be sometimes, it always warmed him to see her looking out for him. Even when it wasn’t necessary. 

“Finn is great, Jess. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Well somebody’s gotta,” she replied. “What do you think of Rey?”

Poe glanced over, noticing that Finn was standing behind her with a hand on her shoulder talking to her in the mirror. If Jess brought it up, he figured she must’ve noticed as well. “She’s very skilled. Gonna give me a run for my money as best pilot in the galaxy.”

“Good thing they’re training her to be a Jedi then, huh?”

“We need pilots too though. Desperately. How are the recruits coming along?”

“Not as well as Oddy. Half have never seen a cockpit. They don’t know how the birds work. Something goes wrong on mission, they’ll never be able to survive it, much less get themselves back home,” Jess shook her head. “Think Rey might have some time she can break away and do crash courses on X-wing repair?”

“They get basic training in mechanics, don’t they?”

“I’m telling you, it’s not enough.”

Poe nodded, “I’ll ask Leia and Rey what they think. I know Leia wants her focusing on becoming a strong Force user, but I can see if she’d consider letting her do it in the evenings for an hour or so. And I know Rey does enjoy working on the ships. She apparently tore apart the Falcon and put her back together when she was with Luke.”

Jess’ eyes widened, “I bet Chewie wasn’t too pleased with that.”

“He trusts her with it. Lets her do whatever she thinks is best. And he says she fixed a lot of things Han didn’t even know were broken. And I’m sure you’ve heard BB-8 singing her praises. As far as my droid is concerned the girl is some kind of wizard.”

Jess hopped down off the counter, tightening her towel around her chest, “I should probably finish getting ready. Can't show up naked to a party.”

“You've done it before,” Poe pointed out.

She gently nudged Poe's shoulder, “Poe, Luke Skywalker is gonna be there!”

“Was a time you would've seen that as incentive to not put clothes on. I don't think I'm the only one getting old here,” he teased.

Jess rolled her eyes and bounded off. Poe took one last look at his hair and wandered over to where Finn and Rey were still talking to each other.

Finn was standing behind her talking over her shoulder to her reflection as she brushed her hair. He had to admit the two of them looked good together like that. The thought that they’d look even better in the bed he shared with Finn snuck in before he could stop it and he hoped things would work out between the three of them.

“Your hair looks nice like that, Rey,” Poe walked up beside Finn, grabbing his free hand. She tensed her shoulders and Finn started moving his thumb in soothing circles.

“You're stealing my lines,” Finn joked. “How's a guy supposed to get anywhere if you're looking like that and stealing my lines?”

Rey looked confused and slightly alarmed. She glanced between the two of them through the mirror with her brows scrunched together.

“Um, I should probably get dressed,” she said after a moment, ducking out from Finn’s grasp and practically bolting out the door.

“Sorry, buddy, guess I shouldn't have interrupted,” Poe said. “Come on we should do the same.”

Finn let Poe lead them back to their room and sat down on the bed. “You're sure you're okay with this?”

“Beautiful, I am more than okay with this. I'm hoping it'll work,” he said. “I bet you'd look real hot with her under your mouth while I fill you up from behind.”

“Force!” Finn groaned, pulling Poe on top of him. “You're gonna kill me Poe.”

“In all the best ways, love,” Poe said, pinning Finn’s hands above his head. “But I'm afraid you'll have to wait til later tonight for that. I promised the General, Jess and I would do something for her and Luke before everyone gets too drunk so I can't be too late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [This Town](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69sg66BrOQA) performed by Clare Bowen and Charles Esten in Nashville.


	3. Call My Name and I'll Be Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets drunk. Poe makes cookies. The three make questionable decisions. Leia mourns Han.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A heads up, this chapter contains an under-negotiated attempt at sex while under the influence of alcohol as well as allusions to past dubiously consented/non-con sex.

“Most of these kids weren't even walking the last time we did this,” Luke shook his head watching the younger Resistance fighters file into the rec building.

“Most weren't even born yet,” his sister responded. “To think everything we did, everyone we lost, to keep these kids from fighting our war and here they are anyways.”

“It’d have been so much worse if we hadn’t and you know it. None of it was for nothing.”

“Some days it’s so hard to keep going. I’d thought I put this all behind me when we won. I’d hoped I had.”

Luke put his arm around Leia and let her head rest against his shoulder. Of everyone here, she had lost the most. He knew she still felt the empty space where her home planet used to be, as jagged and raw and bloody and silent as the day their father made her watch its destruction decades back. And he could feel a fresh one in her where Han used to be. It matched the one in him. She was so full of empty spaces from people she’d lost, some despite her best efforts and some under her command. It was a miracle she was still standing. What was even more miraculous was the fact that woven around all the holes in her being was more hope than someone in her position had any business having. She was the strongest person he’d ever known and he had no clue how she did it.

“I did too,” he told her.

“I’m not sure I can do this,” Leia said. “I haven’t let myself think about his loss since I felt it happen because I’m not sure I’d be able to pick myself back up if I did.”

Luke rubbed his hand slowly up and down her arm. He knew there wasn’t really anything he could say that would make it easier for her so he didn’t respond. She probably already knew he was there for her, he thought.

They waited until it looked like most of the Resistance members were in the room and gestured that they should all take a seat. He let go of Leia and watched her stand in front of them like she did every time she gave them a new mission. She was a born leader and he understood why she’d never developed her Force sensitive abilities.

“I promise I’ll let you all get on with your night and have a good time, but first I wanted to take some time to reflect on those we’ve lost” she said. “I’ve put this off too long because we’ve been so busy with alerting their next of kin, training our new recruits, and trying to figure out what the First Order’s next move will be. Not that any of that is an excuse. Poe and Jess have kindly offered to play us a little something while we pass out drinks to anyone who hasn’t gotten one yet, so I’ll turn this over to them for now.”

Luke moved Leia off to the side to watch as some of the pilots passed around Jess’ moonshine. Jess and Poe dragged their chairs out to where she had just addressed the crowd and sat down with their instruments in their laps.

“Threepio found this hiding in an archive somewhere, General,” Poe said. “I hope we do it justice.”

They began strumming a somber melody. Poe started the first verse alone his voice low and smooth.

“ _If I had wings like Noah’s dove  
I’d fly the river to the ones I love_ ”

Jess joined in halfway through twining her lilting voice with his for the refrain.

“ _Fare thee well, my honey  
Fare thee well. _ ”

Leia took a sharp breath in and started to crumple against Luke. He looked down to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were closed and silent tears were falling out of them.

“It's from Alderaan,” she whispered. “They played it at funerals. I never thought I’d hear it again.”

“It’s beautiful, he whispered back.

He used the Force to lend her some of his strength. She needed to stop pushing her feelings aside and let herself grieve for her broken family and her lost home, but he understood that she wanted to put on a brave face in front of her troops. As important as Han had been to him, he knew she’d needed the man even more.

He could see Jess and Poe really meant every word they sang. Both had their eyes closed, moving their heads along to the rhythm. Jess had her legs crossed and was tapping out a silent beat in the air with her foot. Poe tilted his head up to the ceiling and the left side of his face scrunching up each time they sang the refrain and his brows were knitted together. He rocked his body back and forth in his seat.

They sang the next three verses together and then Jess picked out a short bridge, her fingers flying over the neck of her mandolin while Poe strummed his guitar softly, the instruments twining their notes in the same way their voices mixed together. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room by the time they got to the final verse. They silenced their instruments and with their eyes tightly shut they belted out the end of the song, voices cracking in the last line.

“ _So show me our birds flying high above_  
 _Life ain’t worth living without the ones you love_  
 _Fare thee well, my honey_  
 _Fare thee well._ ”

The last line hung in the air, heavy with emotion. The room was completely still, people leaning on each other for support. After a few silent moments, someone began clapping and everyone else joined in. Poe and Jess nodded, and moved aside so Luke could lead Leia back out to the front.

“I never thought I’d hear that song again,” Leia said, her voice shaking and cheeks streaked with the tears she couldn’t fight back. “Poe, Jess, you have no idea what that means to me. That was-” her voice cracked and she closed her eyes fighting to keep from completely falling apart.

“I want you all to raise your glasses for Han and everyone else we’ve lost. I’d pour one out for him but I know he’d be pissed we were wasting perfectly good hooch,” Luke joked, relieving the tension in the room and giving Leia a minute to collect herself.

Leia took a deep breath and raised her glass, “To fallen friends.”

“To fallen friends,” the rest of the room joined in, taking a drink.

“Alright, you can get up and have a bit of fun now,” Leia said before she let Luke lead her over to a couch in the corner. He sat beside her and held her, curled into his chest while she fought to regain control of her emotions.

“It’s okay,” he whispered into her hair and rubbed his hand up and down her back soothing her. “I’m here for you.”

\---

“You know I used to dream of being trained by Luke Skywalker when I was growing up,” Jess offered Rey another drink.

“I didn’t even think he was a real person when I was growing up,” Rey responded, making a face when she took a sip. “What is in this?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jess laughed, “it does the trick. Come dance with me.”

The room had livened up considerably once people began passing drinks around. A group had moved all the furniture off to the sides and someone had queued up some music that people were dancing to in the middle of the floor. Rey found herself being dragged off to the crowd.

“I don’t know how,” she protested.

“Also doesn’t matter. Come here. Like this,” Jess grabbed her free hand and began moving her feet. “Just feel the music and let go.”

It took a moment for Rey to get what she meant by that, and even then she was a little unsure, but Jess kept encouraging her and eventually she was moving along with her. It was a little like what Luke had been trying to get her to do with the Force, only a hell of a lot easier to figure out. Or maybe that was the alcohol.

\---

“Is the General okay?” Poe asked Luke.

“She went to go lie down,” Luke answered. “I offered to sit with her but she said she wanted to be alone. Leia’s a lot stronger than I am. She’ll be okay. Thank you for what you did for her. It meant a lot.”

Poe nodded, “She means a lot to everyone here. Most would happily die for her.”

“I think she knows that. I’m not sure how it sits with her.”

“Knowing her, not very well,” Poe said.

Luke nodded but didn’t say anything. The men sat in silence for a few minutes staring at their drinks before Poe finally said, “Thanks for coming back. She needs you.”

“I never should’ve left,” Luke said sadly. He watched the crowd dancing and laughing for a minute before turning back to Poe, “Don’t spend the whole night sitting with an old man like me. Go dance with your friends. This life is too short and there’s not enough time to enjoy yourself.”

Poe nodded getting up to see if he could find Finn. He found him chatting with Snap and Iolo over by the windows. The two men were clearly telling Finn a story and all of them were laughing. Poe watched them for a few minutes thinking about how beautiful his boyfriend looked when he smiled.

“No!” Finn laughed. “He didn’t!”

“Who didn’t?” Poe asked, walking up to them.

“We were just telling Finn about the time you put dye powder in all the shower heads in the sixth floor fresher and Kun’s skin was green for a week,” Iolo greeted Poe.

“Half the floor was green for a week,” Poe laughed. “Man that was a really good one.”

“That’s better than anything we came up with,” Finn said.

“Oh no way!” Snap exclaimed. “The First Order had prank wars?”

Poe was surprised as well. He’d heard from Finn how strict the First Order was and had trouble believing the superior officers wouldn’t severely punish anyone who disrupted the way things ran. Not that the Academy students never got into trouble for their hijinks, but he figured that’d be a slap on the wrist compared to what the First Order would do.

“Yeah, as long as they didn’t disrupt the superior officers or cause damage to First Order property, no one got in trouble. It was kind of viewed as a way for squad mates to bond.”

“What kinds of things did your squad do?” Iolo asked.

“Once we shaved a strip down the middle of one guy’s hair off while he slept. Another time we saved up a bunch of rations powder for months and made porridge in the soap dispensers in one of the freshers. We also frequently drew on people’s faces with permanent ink when they were sleeping.”

“Oh I did that once to a guy down the hall,” Snap said. “He didn’t appreciate it very much.”

“A guy did that to me once. I didn’t appreciate it much either,” Iolo said.

“If you boys don’t mind,” Poe interjected, “I’d really love to have a dance with my boyfriend.”

The two men laughed and Poe led Finn out to the floor, pulling his back against his chest and hanging on tight. Finn wrapped an arm up around the back of Poe’s neck, fingers weaving into his hair and placed the other over Poe’s on his hip. Poe pressed a kiss into the side of his neck, smiling when Finn let out a soft sigh.

“This you trying to make up for getting me all hot and bothered and then walking away twice?” Finn asked.

“No that would involve significantly less clothes,” Poe laughed. “Although come to think of it, that does sound like an excellent plan. You’re definitely wearing too much.”

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Enough to feel it,” he whispered in Finn’s ear. “Not enough that I’ll disappoint you later.”

Finn loosened Poe’s grip and turned himself around so he was facing the man. Poe smiled when Finn wrapped an arm around his waist, splaying his fingers out against the small of his back and pulling him in as close as he could. Finn threaded the fingers of his other hand through Poe’s hair and tugged sending shivers down the man’s spine.

“You’re a fucking tease, Poe Dameron,” Finn growled against his ear.

“All part of my charm,” Poe laughed. “If you want though, I can leave you for a bit and you can try to talk to Rey.”

“No,” Finn shook his head, “I want you there too. Can we talk to her together?”

\---

As much fun as Rey had been having dancing with Jess, she desperately wanted to leave the party. There were so many people packed into the one room, which Rey still wasn’t used to. She’d grown up alone and tried to stick to herself on Jakku. Most of the people there were untrustworthy at best. Some would do you actual harm if you let them get to close.

On top of that, her head was starting to feel really weird. The ground was tilting and her mind felt foggy and like it weighed a lot more than it did an hour before. She knew it must be due to whatever vile concoction was in the drinks Jess had kept handing her and she needed to get away from the noise and crowds and sit down somewhere. She was just about to sneak out the door when she heard Finn’s voice.

“Rey! There you are!” he practically shouted. Poe was standing behind him, arms wrapped around Finn’s waist.

“Hey guys,” Rey said. “I think I might head out. My head doesn’t feel right.”

Poe let go of Finn and walked towards her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?” he asked, looking very concerned.

“Everything’s a little bit fuzzy and the ground isn’t on straight,” she said.

Poe laughed, “How many drinks did Jess give you?”

“Dunno. Four? Five, maybe? There’s too many people here,” she moved for the door again, stumbling a little.

“Woah there,” Finn moved to her other side and steadied her.

“You two are pretty,” Rey said. “I think I should lie down.”

Poe smiled at her, “I’ve got a better idea I think. You need to get some water in you, and probably some food. Come with us.”

Rey was never one to turn down food, so she let Finn and Poe guide her out. All three of them were a little unsteady from the alcohol in their systems, though the two men were far more stable than she was. They headed towards the kitchens and Poe let go of her, wrapping her arms around Finn so he could try to get the doors open.

“Uh, Poe,” Finn said nervously, “aren’t the kitchens closed?”

“Don’t worry about it. Everyone’s either in the rec hall drinking, or they found a friend to take home. No one will notice.”

Rey watched as he started trying to override the lock. After a few minutes of typing, it clicked and he was able to open the door. He picked her up out of Finn’s arms, and carried her inside, turning one of the lights on so they’d be able to see what they were doing. She started playing with the hair at the back of his neck, running her hands through it and whispering, “Soft.”

“You, uh, probably shouldn’t do that hun,” Poe told her. His voice sounded a little different. It was lower and a bit gravelly.

“Why not?” she asked. His eyes had grown dark and she could feel his heart beating faster through his chest. She wasn't used to being so close to someone and she couldn't tell if it was that or the alcohol that was making her feel tingly.

“Well, uh-“

“He likes it,” Finn finished, “a lot.”

“Doesn’t that mean I should do it?” Rey asked, not really getting what Finn meant.

“You know what, why don’t we sit you at the table over here and I’ll get food started?” Poe said, setting Rey down and untangling her arms from around his neck.

Somewhere in the back of her mind a thought asked her why she kept touching Poe’s hair when she knew that wasn’t a thing people really did, but she forgot about it when Finn set a glass of water down in front of her and said, “Drink this.”

Poe was playing with the dials on a large metal box with a window that had wire shelves inside it and listing off things for Finn to grab from the small room off to the side that the cooking droids kept stocked with ingredients.

“What you doing?” Rey asked, setting her empty glass down.

Poe took her glass and refilled it, giving it back to her. “You need to eat something. We all probably should. It’ll help with the fuzziness in your head. So we are gonna make some cookies. I’m thinking chocolate chip.”

“I dunno what that is,” Rey said.

“Oh you’re gonna love these!” Finn told her beaming. “They’re my favourite!”

Finn’s earnest smile gave Rey the same tingly feeling she got from being held so close to Poe and it made her heart start pounding in her chest. She felt her face growing hot and picked up her water to try and cool herself down. She wasn’t sure what was going on with her but she also wasn’t entirely sure it was a bad thing.

If Finn and Poe noticed, they didn’t say anything. Poe was asking Finn to measure out ingredients for him with an assortment of different sized spoons and cups. He mixed them all together in a bowl. Finn handed Rey a spoon and a metal tray, beaming at her again and told her she was in charge of putting balls of the dough onto the tray.

It took them about a half hour before Poe put the tray into the large metal box he called an oven. He set a timer and started packing everything up and tossing it into another metal box he said would clean it all. Finn put all the ingredients back where he found them and came back with a plate.

“I was gonna grab cups and milk as well, but considering how much we’ve had to drink, it’s probably a bad idea,” he said.

“Yeah, best not,” Poe agreed.

Poe took the cookies out of the oven when the timer went off and let them cool a few minutes before moving them over to the plate Finn had grabbed for them.

“Okay, Finn, can you grab Rey? We’re gonna take these back to the bunks before someone notices the lights are on in here.”

“You’re gonna steal the plate?” Finn asked.

“Borrow. I’ll bring it back in the morning.”

Finn helped Rey onto her feet. She was better than she was an hour ago but still quite unsteady, and a bit fuzzy so he got her to climb onto his back so she’d be easier to carry home. “You okay love?” he asked her when she was settled.

She buried her face into his neck and gave a muffled, “I’m ok.” He smelled amazing, like leather and soap. And he was so warm. She wrapped her arms around his chest, gripping his shirt in her hands to keep herself balanced.

Poe gestured for Finn to head outside while he double checked to make sure everything had been put away and turned off the light. He closed the door behind them and reset the lock and they carried her and the cookies home.

\---

“Okay Rey,” Finn said letting go of her legs when they got to his room, “time to come down.”

Poe helped him untangle her from around his neck and they sat her down on the bed. Finn handed her a cookie and took a bite out of his own. They were still warm and melty from the oven.

“Mmm Poe, these are better than the ones the caf makes!” he said surprised.

Poe laughed, “I wanted to surprise you with dinner one night, but I guess now’s as good a time as any. You like it, Rey?”

Her cheeks were full and her eyes were wide. She had a bit of chocolate on her lips and Finn desperately wanted to lick it off. She nodded her head enthusiastically.

“What is in this?” she asked.

“Flour, sugar, butter, eggs, chocolate chips, salt, and vanilla extract,” Poe answered.

“I don’t know what any of that is, but these are amazing!” she exclaimed.

“Want another?” Finn asked her.

They finished the cookies off and Poe set the plate on the desk across the room, coming back to sit on the bed with Finn and Rey. “How’s your head? Still fuzzy?”

“Not so much,” Rey said. “Those are some magic cookies.”

“It was more the drinking water instead of alcohol that fixed that,” Poe smiled. “Having something in your stomach does help a little though.”

“You’ve got a little chocolate on you,” Finn said pointing to his lips to show her.

He watched her tongue dart out trying to lick it off her, but missing. “It gone?” she asked.

“No. Can I?” he said.

She nodded and he moved closer, holding her chin in his hand and kissing her softly. She stiffened a little, then went soft. He licked the chocolate off her lip, biting her gently until she broke away from him eyes wide looking at Poe.

“It’s okay, beautiful,” Poe nodded at her, smiling. “I don’t mind. Though if you do, I can leave.”

“Wait,” she said slowly, standing up, “I’m confused.”

“Finn likes you,” Poe said.

“Pretty sure Poe does too,” Finn told her.

Poe nodded, “We’d like it if you joined us.”

“Joined you? Like for sex?” Rey asked.

“Have you had sex before?” Finn asked her. His hands were fisted in his lap in an attempt to stop them from shaking. Rey still hadn’t technically said she wasn’t interested, but she hadn’t said yes either.

“Of course I have!”

“Are you okay with this?” Poe asked. “’Cause if you’re not, that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Rey said looking thoughtful for a minute before she undid her tunic and started slipping out of her clothes.

\---

“What do you like?” Poe spoke low into Rey’s ear while pulling her body back against him. He had one arm snaked around her hip, hand softly rubbing her belly and the other across her collarbone holding her shoulder. She could feel his hard length pressing against her ass through his trousers. Finn was in front of her, holding her face and looking into her eyes.

Rey’s brows knitted together, “What do you mean?”

Finn ran the pad of his thumb along her lower lip before kissing her softly. “Poe’s asking what you want us to do with you.”

“Do you guys not know what to do? You started this.”

“We have some ideas,” Finn said.

“But we want to make sure you thoroughly enjoy yourself,” Poe nibbled at her ear making her feel odd and tingly inside. “Tell us how you want to be satisfied.”

Rey bit her lip looking at Finn like maybe she’d find the answer in his face. “I’ve never been asked that before,” she finally said and Poe immediately loosened his grip of her body and stepped around so he could see her face too.

“I thought you’ve done this before?” Poe asked. He took one of her hands and led them to the bed to sit down and wrapped his blanket around her shoulders.

“Well yeah,” Rey said, “but no one’s ever asked me what I wanted.”

Finn sat down beside her, “But then how did they know what you liked?”

Rey still wasn’t really sure what the boys were asking her.

“Rey did you enjoy having sex with any of the people you slept with?” Poe asked.

“Women don’t enjoy having sex. You just do it cuz it keeps men from getting angry,” Rey said. She'd been told that enough times growing up that it must've been true. But Finn and Poe were looking at her like she'd just told them gravity wasn’t real.

“That has not been my experience with women,” Finn said scratching his head and frowning.

“Some women don't like it,” Poe said. “Some men don't like it either. There's nothing wrong with it either way. If you don't want to continue, that's perfectly fine. You don't have to do anything.”

“We won't get angry,” Finn said. “I promise.”

Rey wrapped the blanket tighter around her, “Do you not want to do this anymore? Just because I don’t know what you’re asking me?”

“Rey, love,” Poe put a hand on her shoulder, “that is not at all what we are saying. What we want is to make sure that you yourself really want to do this.”

“We do want you,” Finn said, “but only if you want us too. We don’t want you to feel like you have to do this, because you don’t. You can decide you don’t want to have sex with us. You can decide you want to think about it for a while if you want. You can decide that you do want to but not right away, or only one time, or only with one of us, or only if we do a certain thing. That is all completely fine.”

“I- I still don’t understand.”

“On Jakku, when you had sex with other scavengers, did you want to?” Poe asked slowly.

Rey stood up and quickly pulled her tunic over her head. Talking about her experiences on Jakku was not something she particularly wanted to do. Not with Finn and Poe eyeing her like she was made of glass. “It wasn’t about what I wanted,” she said, picking up her staff and trousers and leaving Finn and Poe’s bunk before he or Finn could say anything in return.

Their questions and the way they looked at her made her feel like she’d done something wrong when she was alone on Jakku but she’d done what was asked of her, same as she was doing with her friends.

“ _But it's not the same, is it?_ ” a voice asked from the back of her head.

\---

Finn looked from the door to Poe and back again and Poe sank to the floor beside the bed, roughly combing his hands into his hair and placing his elbows on his knees.

“Fuck,” he breathed out.

It took a moment for Finn to understand the implications of Rey’s answer. “Kriff Poe.”

“Yeah buddy.”

“But that’s horrible!”

“I know.”

“What do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Poe said.

“Should we talk to someone?”

“I can talk to the General in the morning. It’s too late right now, and she’s had a long night.”

“Should I come too? Both of us did this, and it was mostly my idea. I wanted her more than I think you did.”

“You can if you want to,” Poe said, leaning his head against Finn’s knee.

“Do you think Rey felt like she had to have sex with us?”

“I honestly don’t know, buddy,” Poe turned and looked up at Finn. His eyes were glassy and his brows were furrowed. Poe took his hand and squeezed it. “Hey, hey love, we’ll sort this out. I know you wanted this to work and it might not. It’s possible we did a really bad thing. But we’re going to try to fix it.”

“I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“I know you didn’t Finn. I didn’t either,” Poe stood up. “Come on let’s get into bed. We can sort this out in the morning.”

Finn nodded before taking the rest of his clothes off and climbing in next to Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title and lyrics from [Fare Thee Well](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU3sXJcx_vI) which Oscar Isaac and Marcus Mumford sing in Inside Llewyn Davis.


	4. I've Got All the World to Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe inform Leia of the previous night's ill-discussed events. Leia asks Rey about her past. Luke crosses a line. Finn teaches himself binary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains more discussions of past dub-con/non-con.

Leia looked up from her desk to see Poe standing just inside her door, arms crossed and biting his lip. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and it looked like he hadn’t slept all night. Finn was standing beside him, holding his hand.

“Finn, Dameron?” Leia gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. “What did you two do?”

Poe’s surprise flashed across his face, “How-”

“A lot may have changed in the past 25 years but your facial expressions haven't,” she interrupted. “The last time I saw you make that one, you and Ben had let the goraks out of their pen and we had to spend the afternoon catching them. So what did you do?”

Poe sat down staring at his feet. Finn sat down beside him, and started fidgeting with his hands.

“I'm not sure this one can be fixed as easily,” Poe said.

Leia raised an eyebrow at that. The goraks had not been easy to catch and the cuts she and Shara had gotten from their beaks and talons had taken over a week to heal. She didn't say anything though, just waited for him to explain himself.

“It's my fault,” he finally said. “Finn is involved too, but it's my fault. I should have known better.”

“No it’s both our faults. If he’s gonna get reconditioned over this, then I should too.”

“Boys,” Leia held up a hand and stopped them. “Poe, it’s noble of you to want to take the blame yourself for whatever happened. You always did that whenever you and Ben got into trouble. But your boyfriend is an adult and if you two did something, you’ll both be held accountable.”

Poe looked up at that.

“Just because you've grown up doesn't mean I stopped keeping tabs on you. How else did you think I heard about the Yissira Zyde? It's even easier now that I don't have to go through the New Republic Command.”

Poe nodded his head and Leia turned to Finn and continued, “And Finn, we are not in the habit of conditioning our volunteers to begin with so you don’t have to worry about the threat of reconditioning as a form of punishment here. Now I'm going to need you two to get to the point. What happened?”

“Okay well, Finn also likes Rey. And I said I'm okay with that. I mean she's smart and talented and beautiful. And she's one hell of a pilot. And last night we were drinking and…” Poe trailed off.

“You asked her out.”

“Yeah. Well not exactly,” Poe’s hands were shaking.

“You invited her into your bed,” Leia crossed her arms.

“We did,” Finn said

“What happened?”

“See we didn’t really know what her, uh, I guess, education was like on Jakku so we really did try to talk this out before we started and she said she’d had sex before. And we asked if she wanted to sleep with us and she just started taking her clothes off. Admittedly that was probably not the most normal progression of events but she asked what we were waiting for and she seemed like she wanted it too. But then I asked her what she um- what she liked and she didn’t really understand what I was asking and Finn tried to clarify but just the uh the way she was answering, that's when I started thinking she might not have understood that she could say no to us.” Poe ran a hand roughly through his hair, tugging the curls away from his face.

Leia stood up and came around the desk to where they were sitting and placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder, “Look at me.”

Finn raised his head. His eyes were red and watery.

“How far did it go?”

“Obviously we stopped as soon as we realized.”

“Obviously,” she said knowing it came out harsh but honestly she was disappointed in both of them. “How far did it go? How long did it take you two to realize that poor girl thought she had to do what you and Finn asked?”

“We uh- there was um kissing,” Poe dropped his head back down, “and uh we – she’d – well she’d stripped before we realized. We weren’t trying to force her.”

“I know but that doesn’t mean you didn’t. Did either of you touch her?”

“I kissed her. Poe was against her back, holding her,” Finn said.

“Where were your hands, Poe?” Leia asked.

“I had her hip and her shoulder and I asked her what she wanted.”

“And that’s when you stopped?”

“Yeah,” Poe answered. “We tried to talk it out. I tried to ask her about the other times on Jakku. I asked her if she’d wanted to every time she did.”

“And?”

“She just said it didn't matter what she wanted and ran out,” Finn choked out.

“I’ll speak with her,” Leia said. “It sounds like a misunderstanding but if she says anything different there will be severe consequences for you both. Either way I expect you to communicate better with your partners in the future. Are we clear?”

“Yes, General,” Finn said.

“Crystal,” Poe answered at the same time.

“And Poe, I know you were raised better than to take advantage of people when they are drunk. I'm disappointed in you.”

“I know. By the point we started though, we had all mostly sobered up. We snuck into the kitchen and I made cookies and had Finn keep giving her water. She wasn't comfortable with how the alcohol made her head swim and I figured water and something to eat would help with that.”

“The kitchens were locked,” Leia gave them a stern look.

“Yeah, I'm sorry,” he at least had the decency to look sheepish. “I know the code, so it wasn't really breaking in.”

“Sounds like you made a number of poor choices last night. I expected better from you.”

“We cleaned up after ourselves and locked them again when we left. Plus, Rey had never had cookies before and she'd had a lot to drink. We needed to feed her something,” Finn jumped to Poe’s defence.

“Okay,” Leia finally said. Compared to the possibility that he and Finn had sexually assaulted the girl, sneaking into the kitchen to bake cookies was pretty minor. “Was there anything else?”

“No ma’am.”

“Good. Now I believe you’re both leading drills today.”

“Yes ma’am,” they said in unison.

“You’re dismissed.”

The men left and Leia leaned against her desk cradling her head in her hand and rubbing her temples. It was going to be another long day.

“Threepio,” she called.

“Yes Princess?” the droid walked into her office.

“I need you to clear some time in my schedule this morning so I can have a talk with Rey. Then I’ll need you to find her and ask her to meet in my office for that time. I’ll inform Luke that she might be late for her training today.”

\---

Rey looked so small, likely due to the circumstances in which she grew up. Oh she was taller than Leia was, yes. Almost everyone was. But she folded in on herself and made herself appear smaller than she was, whether to give herself the upper hand by making people underestimate her, or because she was afraid, Leia wasn’t entirely sure.

Leia knew there were people desperate enough to sell their children as labourers in order to get out of whatever poor situation they found themselves in. Rey’s parents must’ve come from a planet like Riosa, one of the planets the Empire took control of and pushed to the breaking point in order to manufacture the supplies they needed. But knowing that didn’t mean that she was okay with it. They’d fought so hard and lost so much to take down the Empire the first time so future generations would be free from this kind of forced labour and had continued to fight in the senate. It was discouraging that nothing they did had saved Rey from all she had experienced on Jakku.

“I spoke to Finn and Commander Dameron earlier this morning and they said a few things that I am concerned about,” Leia said.

“Did I do something wrong?” Rey asked.

“No. Finn and Poe spoke to me about what happened last night and I’d like to hear your side of the story. I also have a few questions about what happened to you on Jakku.”

“Oh, not really anything happened last night,” Rey said. “They wanted sex so I took my clothes off and then once we got started they started asking questions I didn’t know the answer to and then they started asking about Jakku and I didn’t want to talk about it so I left.”

“Did you want sex?” Leia asked carefully.

“What?”

“You said you took your clothes off because they wanted sex. But did you want to have sex with them or did they make you?”

“They said they wanted me to join them,” Rey didn’t really understand what Leia was asking.

“Yes, but did you want to join them?”

Rey was silent for a moment before she quietly said, “I don’t know. I didn’t think about it.”

“Did they threaten you?”

“No! Of course not!” Rey made a face. “I don’t think they would hurt me.”

“Did they make you think you had to have sex with them because they wanted it?”

“I- I was taught that’s how it worked.”

“On Jakku?” Leia asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you want to talk about Jakku?”

“They were already looking at me like I was made of glass. Sometimes things that were normal for me growing up make people feel bad for me. I don’t need that from my friends.”

“Can you tell me about it?”

Rey didn’t say anything. She started fiddling with her tunic, weaving the strips of fabric between her fingers and playing with their frayed edges. Leia got up and came around the desk to sit beside her thinking that maybe this was a conversation better had on equal ground.

“I’m not going to judge you or feel sorry for you, Rey. I just want to make sure that you are okay.”

Rey took a deep breath and nodded, “There was an older woman, Nell. She looked out for me the first few years I was there. I still had to work but she showed me how to find a good salvage and how to clean the parts. She said that it was best I find an old ship to live in, something that had already been picked clean but still had a good lock so I moved into an old AT-AT walker when I paid off my parents’ debt to Unkar Plutt. She said that one day the men would come but if I had a sturdy place to sleep it’d be easier to avoid. She said if they came it was best to just give them what they wanted or I could get badly hurt or killed. Said it’d be over in a few minutes if I did what they said. So I did and usually it was. Sometimes they left me portions. Sometimes I negotiated food for what they wanted. Usually though they just came and left.”

Leia kept her face composed while Rey told her story, knowing full well the girl didn’t want her pity.  When she finished Leia asked, “How old were you when the men started to come?”

“I think 14? They didn’t come often. I was known to fight back when other scavengers tried to steal my salvage. I’m sure that made a few of them hesitant.”

Leia could kind of understand why Rey was taught that. Jakku wasn't well patrolled by the New Republic and it attracted less than savoury characters. It might have been safer to just give them what they wanted, but she didn't think that made it okay to teach a child she had no choice. Lie back and think of the Republic was something that hadn't been taught in centuries. Not on civilized worlds anyways. 

“And so you thought it was the same with Finn and Poe?”

“They wanted sex, so I said yes. But they were asking questions I’ve never been asked before. I didn’t know what they wanted.”

“The men on Jakku didn’t ask, did they?”

“No. They took what they wanted. I let them.”

Leia placed a hand under Rey’s chin and raised her head so she could look her in the eye.

“Here you don’t ever have to let someone do anything to you that you don’t want them to do. If you are not sure if you really want to do it, you can say no. They are required to respect that. If they do not, you can come to me or any one of the senior officers and they will deal with it. Do you understand?”

“And if I do want them to?”

“Then as long as they also want to have sex and you are either equal in terms of rank or not in the same chain of command, then it’s perfectly okay for you to go for it. But everyone involved has to give their consent before anything happens.”

“I think I understand.”

Rey looked like she wanted to say something else so Leia waited. The girl had her brows knitted together and was fiddling with her hands. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but stayed silent. After a couple minutes of waiting Leia prodded her, “If you have any questions I can do my best to answer them.”

Rey stilled her hands and looked up at the general again, “When I was with Finn and Poe and Poe was holding me against him and talking real quiet into my ear, I felt- I don’t really know how to explain it. It was like a tingling in my stomach and between my legs.”

Leia blinked, trying to hide her surprise. This wasn't exactly where she'd thought this conversation would go when she called Rey in. It wasn't a discussion she expected to have with anyone. She'd known from his birth her son would be trained as a Jedi and even if he wasn't she figured Han or Luke - or kriff even Chewie - would be the ones fielding those questions. And she certainly never imagined she'd ever have this discussion with any of her subordinates.

“Yeah,” she said, “that would do it. Have you felt that way before?”

“I think?” Rey seemed unsure. “There was another girl around my age. Devi. She had a teammate and they helped me fix up a ship. It had a fresher in it that she used once or twice. I was working on a part one night and she came out of it without her tunic on. I thought the tingly feeling was because I looked at her when probably I shouldn’t have? Like I did something wrong maybe?”

Leia smiled softly, “I think what you might be describing is arousal. I think most people are a little confused the first few times they feel that way. It doesn’t necessarily mean you were doing something wrong. And it’s a feeling that you should have when you are going to have sex with someone. I would suggest that you explore what makes your body respond in that way either by yourself or with someone that you trust explicitly.”

“So when Finn and Poe asked me what I liked…” she trailed off.

“They were asking you what made your body respond that way,” Leia finished.

“If someone makes me feel like that, then that means that I do want to have sex with them?” Rey asked.

“That’s a little more complicated. Your body might respond that way even if you know you don’t want to have sex with someone.” She could see Rey didn’t really understand. “It’s like say you were really full and someone made your favourite food. The food would still smell good even if you didn’t want to eat it. You can’t help thinking that the food smells good but thinking that doesn’t mean that you want to eat it.”

“Oh,” Rey said. “But then how do I know if I want to have sex with someone?”

“That isn’t exactly something that I can explain,” Leia replied. “I don’t want to tell you that you’ll just know, but that’s really the best I can do. What I will say is that if you are going to have sex,  you should be able to trust the person or people you do it with completely.”

\---

Rey did her best to stay focused during her training that afternoon but she still wasn’t getting anywhere. Luke sent her home when the sun started to set with a frustrated sigh and instructions to get a good night’s sleep and enjoy her rest day. Even though she hadn’t accomplished anything, she was exhausted so she grabbed something quick to eat from the mess and went back to her bunk.

She couldn't get Leia’s words out of her head. For years she’d been told that turning people down could only result in her getting hurt and here people expected you to decide whether or not you want to? She still didn't understand how she would know that. She’d never actually thought about seeking it out for herself; sex had always been a thing that just happened to her.

She’d also never been kissed like Finn had kissed her, gentle and firm and slow like he wanted to coax her open but was willing to wait until she was ready. It was more of a question than a demand. The men on Jakku had been impatient and sloppy, roughly shoving their tongues into her mouth leading her to question why characters in the trashy novels and holodramas she occasionally came across while scavenging wanted to do it. But if they were being kissed like she had been the night before, she understood.

She was contemplating whether that meant that she did actually want to have sex with Finn and Poe when she heard a knock at her door. Part of her hoped it was one or both of them and the other part hoping it wasn’t. She opened it and Jess blew past her, flopping down on her bed.

“You disappeared on me last night!” she complained. “And things were just starting to get good.”

“My head was feeling really weird,” Rey said closing the door and sitting down next to her.

“Uh yeah,” Jess gave her an odd look, “it was supposed to. You had like six glasses of hooch. Have you never drank before?”

Rey shook her head, sitting down beside Jess and leaning back against the wall.

“So where’d you go?”

Rey wasn’t sure she really wanted to explain exactly what happened when she left. Frankly she was a little embarrassed by the whole situation after her talk with Leia. She knew it wasn’t her fault that she was raised to think that way, but it was clear she was probably the only person here that would have reacted like she did. And Jess seemed like a girl who knew what she was doing and she didn’t want her to laugh.

“Came back here to lie down,” she answered. It wasn’t exactly a lie, she did do that. She’d just been elsewhere first.

“That’s a shame. I was having a real good time dancing with you,” Jess said. “And you’re really cute when you’re drunk. You’ve got like no filter.”

“Oh Force,” Rey felt her face grow warm, “did I say something I shouldn’t have?”

“Nothing embarrassing. I’ve said worse,” Jess reassured her. “Hey so what’s Luke like?”

“Frustrating, honestly. I spent half the time on the island trying to convince him to either train me or come back here with me and the other half taking apart and rebuilding the Millennium Falcon because arguing with him all the time is exhausting. And now that the General’s convinced him he should be training me, all we’re doing is sitting around meditating.”

“Fuck me, that sucks,” Jess said.

“Yeah pretty much,” Rey replied. “He says once I am able to centre myself, he’ll teach me some actual fun things like fighting with a lightsaber though.”

“Wait, so you spend all day out in the woods basically in silence, and then you hole yourself up in here? Girl, you need to get out and have some fun. You can’t be all work all the time. Ever played sabacc?”

Rey said she had no idea what that was so Jess pulled her up and practically dragged her to the Rec Hall. Rey had tried protesting that even though her training had mostly consisted of her sitting on the ground trying to clear her mind, it still left her pretty exhausted, but Jess wouldn't take no for an answer. She picked out an empty table and procured a deck of cards calling a few of her squad mates over to show Rey how to play. She watched the first two rounds while they explained the rules and then they dealt her in.

“Normally we play for something - hooch, cigarettes, civilian clothes, a shift trade,” Snap told her. “But since this is your first time playing we can just play for fun.”

“What Snap’s really saying is he doesn't want to lose his rest day and he's out of other things to trade,” Karé laughed.

“Aww poor Snap,” Jess teased turning to Rey, “he really does suck at this game. Rey, if we were betting I'd put my money on you beating him.”

“Fuck you too, Jess,” Snap laughed.

“Maybe later, if you're a good boy,” Jess shot back.

\---

Finn sat at the small desk in the bunk he shared with Poe trying to teach himself binary so he could understand BB-8. He had downloaded a program the droid tech recommended him to his datapad and was struggling through the first lesson on it when Poe came home with BB-8 in tow.

“How was your day, gorgeous?” Poe asked, walking over to kiss him. “What are you up to?”

“Trying to learn binary. I wanna be able to understand BB-8 too,” Finn said.

BB-8 let out a series of loud, excited beeps and started rolling in tight circles in the middle of the room before nudging up against Finn’s leg and dropping her head on his thigh like she was hugging him.

“I don’t know what you just said B, but I assume this means you’re happy?” Finn placed a hand on her sphere, patting her gently.

“She’s definitely happy and she offered to help,” Poe smiled. “Just a heads up, a lot of what she says won’t be found in any of those programs. She may have learned more than a few choice words from me in the Academy because at the time I thought it’d be really funny and she still thinks it’s funny to swear at people. She used to love getting me in trouble with my superiors. Still does, but General Organa also finds her terrible language amusing, so I don’t get in as much trouble anymore.”

Finn laughed, “Aww BB-8, is the General taking away all your fun?”

BB-8 whistled and beeped nodding her head.

“She likes General Organa though,” Poe kissed the top of Finn’s head again. “Come here B, why don’t we let Finn finish up what he was doing. We can plan what drills we’re gonna run tomorrow.” 

He led the droid over by the bed and sat down on the ground beside her, leaning his back against the bedframe.

Finn smiled at them thinking how cute they were together before going back to the lesson he was working on. The language was a hell of a lot harder than he’d thought it would be. So many of the beeps and whistles sounded the same to him, and he had to redo the test at the end of the section four times before he passed it.

Just as he was finishing up, BB-8 rolled over to give him another hug. “Hey B, look I finished the first section and I passed it,” he showed her his datapad.

She whistled and beeped a few times and he looked to Poe for clarification.

“She’s happy for you, buddy. She’s just saying good night. She’s gotta go charge her batteries.”

“Oh okay,” Finn said, bending down to hug the droid back. “Have a good night. Maybe tomorrow night you can teach me some of your beeps?”

BB-8 nodded her head and rolled over to the door, waiting for Poe to open it so she could head to the droid charging station down the hall.

“She's never been that affectionate towards me before,” Finn said after the droid left.

“You've never shown an interest in learning binary before. She loves it when people make an effort to understand her,” Poe said climbing into bed with his own datapad. “Want to watch something?”

Finn got up and climbed into bed beside Poe, tucking his face into the man’s neck. He took the datapad out of Poe’s hands and reached behind himself to set it down on the bedside table. “Not particularly,” he said wrapping an arm around Poe’s waist and tangling their legs together.

Poe shifted underneath him, wrapping his arms around Finn, and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. Finn snuggled in closer and let out a sigh when he felt one of Poe’s hands moving slowly up and down his spine and the other settle on his hip. He traced the embroidered pattern on the neckline of Poe’s tunic, the threads worn from years of wear, and listened to his boyfriend’s heart beating under his head. They lay in each other's arms and slowly drifted off to sleep.

\---

Luke knocked on Leia’s  office door late that night as she was reading a troubling report from a scouting mission that had just gotten back that afternoon. Their intel suggested the First Order was expanding further into New Republic territory. With the Galactic Senate destroyed, the New Republic had no standing government to slow them down. Not that many of the Senate’s members had actually been working to do that. She'd known for a while that the New Republic Senate had had a number of First Order sympathizers in it, particularly in the Centrist party. Now, her Resistance was the only thing left that opposed the First Order, and almost half their best fighters had gone down on Starkiller.

“Anyone ever tell you that you work too much?” Luke asked her when she opened the door.

“There's a war on,” she said, stepping aside so he could come in.

“Which is probably a good argument for why you should get a reasonable night’s sleep.”

Leia returned to her desk and started sorting the files she hadn't read yet by order of importance so she could deal with them early tomorrow. Luke sat in one of the chairs across from her and waited for her to finish up.

“How’s Rey’s training?” she asked him when she was done.

“I may need to change tactics,” he said. “She's distracted. There's a steep learning curve, but once she learns to clear her mind everything else will come easily.”

Leia nodded.

“I wanted to talk to you about training others as well though,” Luke said. “The First Order will have several Force users at their disposal. Rey is strong, but she won't be able to stop them on her own and I've come across others on base that could be trained.”

“Finn?” Leia asked. “He wielded your lightsaber. Held off Ben long enough for Rey to regain consciousness.”

“Yeah, Finn is Force-sensitive. So are a couple of the new recruits. And you.”

Leia blinked at him surprised he was bringing it up again. They'd had this discussion after the battle on Endor and again when she started thinking of running for senate, and again when he started training Ben. She turned him down each time saying she'd been called to a different path.

“Luke,” she warned.

“I know, you weren't called to be a Jedi,” Luke quickly cut her off before she argued the same point she always did, “but the Galactic Senate is gone and I’m not training Jedi. The Jedi Order, while well intentioned, was flawed and it dies with me. I’m training Force users.”

“I’m not sure I see the difference and you know how I feel about this,” Leia crossed her arms and stood up. “I am fighting a war! I do not have time! You can train anyone else you come across if they’re interested, but I’m not a Force user.”

“Kriff Leia,” Luke exclaimed, “you said yourself you need all the help you can get! Why won’t you listen to me?”

“You know damn well why!” she shouted back. “Our biological father was Vader! My son killed his class and joined Snoke! I am the reason we have a resistance! I am what is stopping the First Order from ploughing through the entire galaxy! Do you really think I’d risk that?”

“You’re not our father,” Luke said softly. “And you’re not your son.”

Leia took a deep breath trying to calm herself. She wasn't her father; she knew that. But the possibility of becoming him was enough to keep her arguing the point with Luke. He was stubborn though and she was so tired.

Maybe it was because he was already a Jedi when he found out Vader was their father. Or maybe it was because he was there in the end where he claimed Vader redeemed himself. She wasn't sure she believed him, but he was adamant and she wasn't going to tell him he was wrong. She also wasn't going to tell him that to her mind, no act could even begin to offer redemption for the destruction he’d caused.

“You forget they started out on the right path,” she finally said.

“I don't,” Luke replied. “But they were weak. Leia, you are the strongest person I know. I know you can handle this responsibly. I'm asking you to trust me.”

“It's not you that I don't trust. Their blood runs through my veins. You said yourself there are a number of force sensitive individuals on base. Why are you not content to just train them?”

“I am trying to give us the best chance against Snoke. The Force is strong in you, don't tell me you can't feel it. And I think learning to centre yourself will help you repair the damage that’s been done to you. You are strong, but you are hurting and you don't need to be.”

“I am fine,” Leia snapped. “And don't you dare go digging through my head! Do you even stop to consider what an invasion of privacy that is?”

“Have you stopped to consider what kind of general would ask her troops to do something she's unwilling to do herself?”

“The kind that knows her limits,” Leia said frostily, turning back to her reports and pretending to read them. “I believe we are done here. You can show yourself out.”

\---

Luke walked back to his bunk kicking himself for letting his frustration get the better of him. He'd gone in knowing the chances of her agreeing to be trained by him were practically non-existent but he'd hoped he could get her to see reason. She was, however, a stubborn woman and he could admit that this time he fucked up.

He understood her trepidation. If he were in her position, he'd feel the same. Kriff, up until two days ago he was refusing to train anyone because he was so afraid he’d bring them to the dark side too. Now he was picking fights with Leia demanding she let him teach her. Even if he was right and they did need her, he crossed the line. Now he wasn't sure he could fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [Easy Silence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wriTNRHlBI) also by the Dixie Chicks.


	5. Bring Me Back to Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe have sex. Rey makes some friends. Poe is sent on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains quite a bit of sex.

Poe was woken a few hours later with Finn thrashing and shouting in his sleep. He occasionally had nightmares of the battle on Jakku or whatever else the First Order had done to him. Poe understood. He had the occasional nightmare that he was back in the Finalizer being interrogated by Kylo Ren. The whole first two weeks back he couldn’t sleep at all because of it. Instead he took stims and spent the nights in the med bay holding Finn’s hand. Both he and Finn were doing better now, but every so often, usually when they were worried or stressed about something, one would wake to the other screaming and crying.

He pulled Finn closer, gently shaking him. “Finn! Finn, it's okay,” he said, hovering over Finn’s face. “Finn, wake up.”

Finn awoke shaking and groggy. “Poe?”

“You're okay love, it was a nightmare. I've got you,” Poe kissed Finn’s forehead and held him, brushing the tears from his cheeks and whispering that he was safe and Poe held him until Finn stopped shaking and his heart rate slowed down.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” Finn said.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” Poe answered, kissing his lips softly. “Are you okay now? Do you want to talk about it?”

Finn reached up and combed his fingers through Poe’s messy hair, brushing it out of his face. “I’d rather forget,” he said, pulling Poe on top of him so he was straddling Finn’s hips. “Come here.” 

Poe’s breath hitched as a shiver ran down his spine. He kissed Finn again, this time a little rougher, biting and licking at his lips until he opened beneath him and let him in. Poe moaned into Finn’s mouth when Finn pulled his hair. He balanced his weight on one arm and snaked the other under the hem of Finn’s tunic, moving his hand along the man’s side. He broke the kiss, moving down Finn’s neck, sucking and gently nipping at the sensitive skin until Finn started moaning beneath him and tugged at his hair harder.

Poe sat up, pulling Finn with him so he could remove both their shirts. He ran his hands through Finn’s short, curly hair and ground his hips against Finn’s cock when Finn pulled his nipple into his mouth.

“Finn,” he gasped. “You sure?”

Finn pulled away from Poe’s chest and looked up at him, “I want to be surrounded by you. I want you to fuck yourself on me. And I want to watch you come apart.”

Poe moaned, cupping Finn’s face and pulling him into another passionate kiss. Finn threaded his hands back into Poe’s hair, pulling on it roughly and making Poe shudder and grind against him, moaning in his lap. Finn gasped under him, his cock hard and straining against his pants.

Poe broke away and removed himself from Finn’s lap, causing Finn to whimper in protest. He undid his own pants and tugged them off, then did the same for Finn.

“Do you want to or should I?” Poe asked, grabbing the jar of slick out of the drawer under the bed.

“I want to watch you do it,” Finn said, moving back to lean against the headboard.

Poe climbed back onto Finn’s lap, wrapping his hands around Finn’s shoulders and kissing him again. He slicked his fingers up and reached behind himself with one hand to quickly open himself up and gripped the back of Finn’s neck with the other. Finn sucked marks on Poe’s throat and pressed bruises into his hips with his hands. Poe let his head fall back and eyes close, shuddering at the delicious burn as his wet fingers pressed into his tight hole. His hard cock rubbed against Finn’s stomach as his hips bucked. He scissored his fingers, relaxing the muscles and letting them loosen.

“Stars, you look so good like that,” Finn said, grinding up against him.

Poe added a third finger, pumping in and out until he was relaxed enough to take Finn’s thick cock. He pulled his hand out, lifting up a little and grabbing a little more lube, slicked up Finn’s cock and then his own. Finn moaned at the contact.

“Ready?” Poe asked, lining him up with his entrance.

“Please Poe,” Finn gasped.

Poe sank down on Finn’s cock slowly, moaning as his muscles stretched and burned. When he finally bottomed out, he stilled, the small of his back cramping at the fullness. He contracted his muscles a few times to loosen them, earning a loud moan from Finn each time.

“Fuck, Poe you feel amazing,” Finn said. “So hot and tight for me.”

Poe rocked his hips slowly, not lifting up on Finn’s cock and gasped as Finn hit just the right spot inside him. He kissed Finn, biting at his lips and running his hand through his hair, holding him close so their chests were pressed against each other as he continued slowly rocking his hips. His cock was pressed between their bodies, rubbing against them. Finn wrapped his arms around Poe, digging his fingertips into his back.

Poe began gently lifting himself off Finn’s cock and thrusting back down, picking up speed.

“Finn,” he moaned, digging his nails into Finn’s shoulders.

Finn shuddered underneath him, thrusting his hips up to meet Poe. “I’m not gonna last much longer,” he moaned.

“Neither am I,” Poe answered, his thrusts growing irregular as he felt his orgasm tightening at the base of his spine.

He kissed Finn again, groaning, his hips going still as he came over both their stomachs. His tight asshole clenched around Finn with the aftershock, bringing him to orgasm shortly after.

Both men collapsed into each other, breathing heavily as waves of pleasure washed through them and their limbs began to feel heavy. Poe softly kissed Finn’s forehead and cheeks, cradling his head in his hands.

“I love watching you come,” Finn said, smiling up at him.

“I could say the same about you,” Poe replied, softly kissing his lips. He slowly lifted off Finn’s cock and grabbed a towel from the drawer under the bed and wet it in the jug on the bedside table to clean them both off.

Finn lay back down when he was done and Poe turned the lights off and crawled into bed behind him, spooning him and running his hands up and down Finn’s side.

“Thank you,” Finn said softly, “I really needed that.”

“Anytime, love,” Poe said, kissing the back of his neck.

They both fell back asleep.

\---

Finn woke the next morning to their alarm going and Poe grumbling and snuggling closer into him. Finn moved to reach over Poe to shut the alarm off on his datapad but Poe grabbed him to try to keep him from moving away.

“No,” Poe grumbled, “stay. S’warm.”

“Gotta turn off the alarm love,” Finn told him and Poe loosened his grip.

Finn shut off his alarm and then checked to see what he had to do that day. There were no drills scheduled - it was a rest day - but that didn't always mean he didn't have any work to do. Sometimes there were briefings or reports to deal with. But today there was nothing.

“C’mere,” Poe tugged on Finn’s arm impatiently.

Finn rolled his eyes and laughed, but put the datapad down and leaned back against the headboard letting Poe curl up on his chest. Poe pulled the blankets back over them and once again tried burying his face into Finn. He let out a soft humming sound, almost like he was purring and pressed a kiss to Finn’s neck.

“You're really cuddly this morning,” Finn said.

“Cuz I can be,” Poe mumbled.

Finn kissed the top of Poe’s head and began slowly carding his fingers through his hair, holding him as he drifted back to sleep on Finn’s chest. He was wide awake. The First Order didn’t have rest days and he still wasn’t used to being able to sleep in. He didn’t mind though. He liked being able to hold Poe, feeling his breathing and heartbeat against his skin, his soft hair slipping through Finn’s hands. He liked watching the muscles in Poe’s face twitch and hearing the occasional soft noises he made.

Finn especially liked the way the weight of Poe’s body anchored him in the present. In moments like this he could forget what he’d been through and just focus on the warmth that radiated from Poe, seeping under his skin and into his bones. It was everything he’d thought he’d never have.

Poe had commented on it the first time he woke up and noticed Finn watching him, making jokes about it. But Finn pointed out that Dr. Kalonia mentioned Poe sat with him every chance he got when he was in medical healing from the lightsaber wound and Poe laughed and pulled him in for a kiss.

He picked the datapad back up and propped it against his leg, stroking Poe’s hair with one hand and opened up the binary program. Since he was awake and Poe would likely be out for another hour or two, he figured he might as well use the time to work.

Halfway through the third lesson Poe began stirring, letting out little grumbly noises. He stretched his back slowly and blinked open his eyes.

“Good morning beautiful,” Finn smiled down at him and set his datapad aside again.

“Mmmf, morning,” Poe said sleepily.

“Sleep well?”

Poe mumbled something Finn didn't catch and stretched again. He pushed his arms over his head and Finn felt his body tense all the way down to his feet. When he relaxed he let out a satisfied little sigh.

“Love watching you wake up,” Finn told him, and kissed his forehead.

Poe looked up at Finn and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and Finn leaned down a little more to kiss his lips. “Bet you say that to all the guys,” he smiled.

“Just the ones who fall asleep on me in the mornings,” Finn replied, running a hand slowly up and down Poe’s spine.

Poe shifted, tossing his leg over Finn and sitting up so he was straddling his hips. Finn looked up at him waiting to see what he’d do. He cupped Finn’s face in both his hands and gave him a slow, deep kiss. Finn was panting and arching into him by the time he pulled back, his hands wrapping around Poe’s hips and pressing into the bruises that he left there in the night.

Poe gasped and tensed under Finn’s hands and Finn immediately loosened his grip. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he apologized to Poe, bringing a hand up to brush the tangled hair from his eyes.

“Mmm and here I was hoping that you might,” Poe responded.

Finn’s chest tightened at the look Poe gave him and he fisted his hand in Poe’s hair, pulling him down to kiss him again. Poe’s lips parted for Finn’s tongue and he let out a little moan and bucked against Finn’s hips when Finn didn’t loosen his grip on his hair.

“That what you were looking for?” Finn asked when he pulled Poe’s mouth off him by tugging sharper on his hair.

“Yes,” Poe hissed gripping Finn’s shoulders.

“Lie down?” Finn asked, releasing Poe’s hair and pressing a kiss into his collarbone.

“I’m, uh, a little sensitive from last night,” Poe said hesitantly. “I don’t think I can take you again. Is that okay?”

“Of course love. Do you want to stop? We can just lie here a little longer or get up and grab breakfast, whatever you want,” Finn answered, gently stroking Poe’s hair. He wanted to make sure Poe was comfortable.

“No, no, definitely not,” Poe said really quickly. “Just maybe instead we could do something else?”

Finn nodded, “What would you like to do?”

“Maybe this time I could fuck you?” Poe still sounded unsure, like he was either worried Finn wouldn’t like that idea even though they’d done it several times before or it wasn’t actually what he wanted.

“I’d like that,” Finn reassured him. “If that’s what you want to do. If not, I might like to go down on you. Might like to do that anyways to be honest.”

Poe took a sharp breath and closed his eyes for a moment, “Yes,” he whispered.

“Yes to a blowjob? Or yes to fucking me?”

“Both. Please both.”

Finn kissed him again, pulling him so their chests were touching. He pressed into Poe’s lower back with one hand and cradled the back of his neck with the other. Poe started grinding against him again and moaning into his mouth.  Finn gently nibbled on Poe’s lip, enjoying the sounds he made each time.

Poe broke the kiss this time, cupping Finn’s face and looking into his eyes. He shifted and rolled off Finn, kneeling back beside him. Finn whimpered at the loss of contact.

“How do you want me?” Poe asked, palming his erection.

“Lie down,” Finn said, shifting so he was also kneeling.

Poe laid down and Finn straddled his hips. He began pressing kisses everywhere he could reach, moving himself down Poe’s body. He smiled against Poe’s skin at his reactions to Finn biting faint bruises into his collarbones and chest. He flicked his tongue out over one of Poe’s hardened nipples and Poe bucked against him moaning loudly. He pulled it into his mouth, biting gently and then sucking at it.

“Kriff Finn! Please!” Poe cried, his head thrown back exposing his neck.

Finn moved his hand slowly up Poe’s body and started plucking at Poe’s other nipple with his fingers. Poe’s moaning grew louder. Finn took his time and then slowly moved further down Poe’s body, nipping and kissing his stomach. He sucked a mark into his hipbone and another where his leg met his groin. Poe tried to get a grip on Finn’s curly hair to drag him to his cock but Finn’s hair was too short.

“Want something?” Finn asked, knowing exactly what Poe wanted but also wanting to tease him a little longer.

“Fuck,” Poe said when Finn sucked at his inner thighs. “Please Finn!”

“Mmm okay,” Finn said. “But only because you asked so nicely.”

Finn licked a stripe up the underside of Poe’s cock before pulling it into his mouth tasting the salty precome that had beaded at the tip. He gripped the base in his hand and moved slowly up and down the tip, sucking it gently. Poe continued running his fingers through Finn’s hair pushing on the back of his neck and bucking up against him trying to get him to take in more of his length.

Finn moaned against him, his cock straining against the mattress. He ground his own hips down, needing to feel the friction against it. Finn began sucking harder, moving his hand up and down Poe’s shaft. Poe continued bucking up against him and begging.

“Wait! Wait wait!” Poe said quickly sitting upright.

Finn pulled off him, making a popping sound, “Everything okay love?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Poe panted, “I was just really close. I don’t want to come yet. Wanna come inside you.”

Finn moved back up his body and pulled him in for a kiss. Poe used his legs to push off the mattress and turn them so he was now on top of Finn. Finn moaned loudly and arched up against him. Poe pulled off him to get the bottle of lube off the nightstand and it was Finn whimpering now.

“Can I?” Poe asked, slicking up his fingers and positioning them against Finn’s entrance.

“Please!” Finn responded, the word turning into a moan as Poe slowly eased one of his fingers inside, stretching and burning Finn’s tight hole. He thrust it in and out slowly a few times until Finn was pushing down into him and then he slowly added another finger.

Finn contracted his muscles a few times, breathing hard and moaning at the burning stretch when Poe started scissoring his fingers. He gripped the sheets at his side tightly, pleas and nonsense escaping his mouth. It hurt a little but he needed more.

“You look so good like this,” Poe said. “I could watch you all day.”

“Please Poe,” Finn gasped as Poe’s fingers found the bundle of nerves that made him see stars.

“Do you want something, love?” Poe tossed his own words back at him smirking.

“Poe!” Finn cried as Poe shifted his fingers inside him.

Poe slowly pulled his fingers out and Finn suddenly felt very empty. His muscles contracted a few times around nothing and he whimpered at the loss. Poe slicked up his hard cock and knelt between Finn’s legs.

“Finn,” he breathed out, his eyes dark and hair a mess.

“Please!” Finn’s moan turned into a cry when Poe lifted his hips and slowly but firmly pushed into his still tight entrance and bottomed out.

Poe leaned down so they were pressed chest to chest. Finn always preferred it like this. It made him feel safe and loved, like his partner cared who he actually was instead of it just being a convenient body in the dark the way it was with the First Order.

Finn wrapped one of his arms around Poe’s back, holding him in place and threaded the fingers of his other hand into Poe’s hair, gently pushing it off his face so he could see Poe’s eyes. Poe stayed very still until Finn started rocking against him, then he slowly began thrusting shallowly in and out of Finn. He moved slowly, keeping most of his cock inside Finn and moaning at the feel of it.

Finn kissed him roughly, moaning and gasping into his mouth and rocking up against him. Poe started thrusting faster, hitting Finn’s g-spot each time he pushed in. Finn started begging him, though he didn’t really know if he wanted Poe to draw it out or to reach between them to fist his cock and make him come.

Poe gently stroked along Finns temples and into his hair whispering assurances in his ear, “You feel so good, love. So good for me. That’s it. You’ve got this. You’re okay.”

“Poe!”

“I’ve got you sweetheart,” Poe wrapped his hand around Finn’s cock and stroked it.

“Poe, I’m gonna-” Finn’s words cut off in a moan as he came over both their stomachs.

His muscles clenched around Poe’s cock, drawing his orgasm from him as well, Poe crying out as he came inside him. Poe collapsed on top of him, spent and breathing heavily. He kissed Finn softly and slowly eased out of him, rolling onto his side and pressing against him.

“That was-” Finn didn’t have a word that seemed quite right to finish that sentence but figured Poe would know what he meant anyways.

“Mmm yeah,” Poe answered, pressing soft kisses into his neck and chest.

\---

Rey was up before first light, got herself ready for the day, and then realized halfway through breakfast that she didn’t have anywhere she needed to be. She couldn’t very well spend the day doing nothing, didn’t know how to, so she headed out to maintenance to see if there was anything she could help with. No one was there, not that she was surprised by that. There was no one in the freshers or the mess hall either.

She found a scrap pile out around back full of broken parts and started sorting through it to see what she could salvage and what would be useful. She quickly built herself quite a collection to work through and brought a tarp over so she could drag them all into the hangar where the tools were.

The Resistance had more tools than she’d ever seen in her life. She wasn’t sure how to use half of them. On Jakku a lot of her repair work was done using bits of scrap metal. She’d traded for a couple of tools, because you really couldn’t do a whole lot if you didn’t have a wrench, but food had been a priority so she mostly made do with what she could make or things she found in her salvage runs.

Rey started by scrubbing the parts she found clean, just like she did on Jakku. Some of them weren’t actually damaged so much as just dirty enough that they started to malfunction in likely horrible ways. She found a scrub brush and a banged up nose cone she could use to soak parts in. Rags were scattered about the workspace so she laid a few out on the table she’d set up near the large open hangar door where the sunlight could reach and dry the pieces.

She was halfway through the actual repair work several hours later when Karé walked past with Iolo on their way to the mess hall. Rey didn’t notice them until their shadows fell across her work.

“You know it’s a rest day, right?” Iolo asked her.

“Everyone gets the day off. No work,” Karé said.

“Yeah,” Rey said, “that’s why I’m not in training.”

Karé picked up a powercore from a 4L4 fusial thruster and turned it over a few times looking at it, “Do these work now?” she asked.

“Should do,” Rey shrugged, quickly rewiring a thermocouple for a T-70 deflector shield before moving on to the next part.

“Unbelieveable,” she said, still turning it over. “They pulled this out of my ship a couple months back. Said it was toast. My girl was grounded for a week while they tried to find a replacement because we had so many birds down after Starkiller.”

“How long did it take to fix?” Iolo asked.

“Once it was cleaned? Twenty minutes.”

“Damn girl, they need you in engineering,” Karé sounded really impressed. “Seriously though, you really shouldn’t be spending you day off working. Put it down, you’re grabbing lunch with us.”

Iolo gently took her pliers and the badly mangled laser tip from her hands, putting the tip back in her now much smaller broken parts pile and collecting the rest of her tools to put them away. Karé deposited her broken parts back on the tarp and dragged them into an empty corner.

“I might talk to the General tomorrow about having you show the engineers how to repair these so we wind up spending less on new parts. If you want I can talk to her about having you added to the engineering team part time. But no more working on rest days,” Karé told her. “Leave the good ones on the table. The crew can figure out what they want to do with them.”

Rey sighed and got up figuring there really wasn’t a point in arguing with them. They were technically right, although since this wasn’t actually her job she could easily say that she wasn’t really working. But even she didn’t really buy it and she knew they wouldn’t either.

Lunch sounded like a really good plan though. She hadn’t eaten in about four or five hours and realized that she was actually starting to get hungry. Back on Jakku most days she was lucky if she got a single full meal, but since joining the Resistance she’d gotten used to eating several times a day. She let Karé put her arm around her shoulders and lead her away from the maintenance hangar.

They grabbed their food and sat down at a table with Snap and Jess. Jess’ mouth was full of bread and she was in the middle of teasing Snap about some new recruit she caught him eyeing a few times.

“I swear Jess was raised by a herd of nerfs,” Karé said to Rey and rolled her eyes.

“Where’s Dameron and Finn?” Snap asked them, trying to change the topic.

Iolo shrugged, “You know Poe doesn’t get up til at least noon on a rest day. They’re probably still in their bunk.”

Rey let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She knew she had to talk with Finn and Poe sooner rather than later, but she wasn’t really ready to do it right now. She still wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted. So she was more than a little relieved that they probably wouldn’t be joining them for lunch.

“You enjoy sleeping in?” Snap asked her.

“I’m actually fairly certain Rey was up before dawn considering the amount of work she got done in maintenance before we found her,” Karé answered.

“Did nobody tell you you had the day off?” Jess asked her.

Rey shook her head, her mouth full of noodles. She quickly chewed and swallowed them before saying, “Luke did. But I didn’t know what else to do. And the General was kind enough to let me stay so I found a way to be useful.”

Iolo frowned at her, “You know you’re probably about the most useful person on our side right?”

“Not only that, but the General seems to like you. She’d probably keep you around even if you weren’t. I think you remind her of herself a little,” Karé said.

“And as far as things to do, I recommend sleeping way past dawn,” Jess said. “I’m talking like maybe three or four extra hours of sleep. Then food, maybe read something or watch a movie or see what your friends are up to. Play a game, make music, that kind of thing. This afternoon I was planning to head to the gym for a bit, maybe do some sparring. You’re welcome to join. Finn says you are lethal with that staff of yours. I’d love some pointers.”

“Yeah, sure,” Rey said. It was clear to her they weren’t going to let her get back to the work she’d been doing, and Jess was pretty fun to be around.

“Great,” Jess smiled.

\---

“Your datapad is flashing,” Finn told Poe who was still pressing soft kisses to his chest and face.

“Fuck,” Poe complained. “Guess I don’t get a whole day this week.”

Poe got up out of bed and checked his messages. There was one from the General requesting a meeting with him at 15:00. Poe quickly sent a confirmation that he’d be there and then checked to see how much time that’d give him. It was just a little past noon so he had more than enough time to shower and grab a bite to eat.

“What is it?” Finn asked.

“The General,” Poe said. “Meeting in under 3 hours.”

“It’s not about Rey is it?”

“You would’ve gotten one too if it was. Things there are probably not as bad as we’d originally thought they were.”

“Well that’s something at least,” Finn sat up. “We should probably leave her alone for a bit though, right? Wait for her to come to us?”

“Probably for the best,” Poe nodded. “Come on, we both need a shower and you’re probably starving. You’ve been up since when?”

“07:00.”

“Sweetheart you’ve been up over five hours and haven’t eaten anything? Why didn’t you say something to me? Or you could have gone without me. You don’t have to stay here just because I do.” Poe was now more than a little concerned that his habit of not getting up at a reasonable enough hour was going to have a negative impact on Finn’s health.

“I keep protein bars beside the bed, love. I ate breakfast while you were asleep and I was working. And do you really think I was gonna leave with you all naked and pressed up against me?”

“I do not deserve you,” Poe smiled.

“I disagree,” Finn told him, standing up and wrapping a towel around his waist. “Come on, quick shower first and then food.”

Poe followed Finn out of their bunk and down the hall to the freshers. They were nowhere near as busy as they were before the party. It was just the two of them and a couple of new recruits. Finn and Poe each hopped into separate showers to clean what was left of their lovemaking off their skin and wash their hair. They brushed their teeth and Poe combed out and styled his hair.

A half hour later they were sitting down at a table with Iolo and Karé, each having grabbed a tray full of food.

“You just missed Jess and Rey,” Karé told them.

“Oh that’s too bad,” Poe said, figuring it’d be better to not be weird about Rey because she might not want people knowing what happened between them the other night and if his friends suspected something was amiss, they’d ask what was up.

Finn fortunately did not respond. He was too busy shovelling his lunch into his mouth. Poe felt a little guilty that he felt the need to stay in bed so long when he was clearly hungry. He’d have to make sure he replenished Finn’s stash of protein bars.

“What have you two got on for the day?” Iolo asked.

“Briefing in an hour and a half for me unfortunately,” Poe answered.

“Was gonna talk to BB-8,” Finn said. “I started teaching myself binary last night and I thought maybe she could help me. But she’s gonna need to be at Poe’s briefing probably so I might go for a hike.”

“If you want, I can check if my M9 unit wants to help you out,” Iolo offered.

“You think ey wouldn’t mind?” Finn asked.

“Doesn’t hurt to ask. Ey helped me learn years back and between us, ey’s far more patient and a lot more polite than BB-8,” Iolo smiled.

“You take that back!” Poe said. “B is excellent.”

Iolo tossed his hands up in front of himself and laughed, “I never said she wasn’t, but even you have to admit that droid of yours has quite the mouth on her.”

\---

“Princess, Commander Dameron is here to see you,” C-3P0 announced Poe when he got to her office.

“Come in, Commander,” she said not looking up from her work. She had several datapads open on her desk and another in her hand that she was typing with.

Poe stepped into the centre of the room, his arms clasped behind his back and waited for her to finish whatever she was doing.

“At ease, soldier,” she told him gesturing to a chair.

He sat down across from her, “You know you’re supposed to take the day off too ma’am,” he observed.

“How many times are we going to have this conversation?” she asked, finally looking up at him.

“Until you take a day off, probably.”

The General shook her head and handed him one of the datapads. It had an info card and an image of an elderly man with cropped greying hair who looked like he probably spent most of his life in the military on it. Poe read over the details, quickly memorizing them before he handed it back to her.

“One of our contacts was approached by this gentleman who says he has an assortment of weapons he wants to donate to our cause. They’re mostly older blasters that don’t really sell very fast anymore but we take what we can get. Seems his son’s family was living in the Hosnian system and he figured it was the best he could do to help our cause.”

“Do you trust him?” Poe asked.

“Our contact does. But I haven’t met him, so I can’t say. That’s why I’m sending you to the rendez-vous to pick up the cargo,” she said. “If something goes wrong, well frankly I think you’d be better suited to extracting yourself from the situation than anyone else. Our contact on the planet will be able to back you up during the meetings but I can’t spare an extraction team. The recruits are untested and we need our pilots here to complete their training.”

Poe nodded. He knew Karé and Iolo were both having trouble with a few of their recruits. And Jess, who was overseeing training for Blue Squadron for him while he helped Red Squadron, had mentioned that her pilots were struggling with the maintenance portion of their training. He remembered he was supposed to ask the General about seeing if Rey could help with that, but had forgotten after everything that had happened between them.

“Actually I had wanted to ask you something regarding the training,” he decided to bring it up now before he forgot again.

The General folded her arms and leaned back into her chair, clearly waiting for him to continue.

“A handful of the flight recruits are having trouble learning basic maintenance. Jess suggested we see if Rey can help them out with that. Maintenance is still tied up with the last of the repairs from Starkiller and training their own recruits, so they don’t have a whole lot of extra time to give our guys. And we know Rey knows what she’s doing.”

The General looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping her fingers against her arm and frowning. She straightened up, leaning her forearms on the desk.

“It’s not a bad idea. I can talk with her about it and see if she’d be willing. Her priority though is her training. And yours right now is this mission. Your meeting is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and it’s about a day’s travel to get there, so you’ll need to head out now.”

Poe nodded, standing up. “Anything else General?”

She shook her head, going back to her work, and he let himself out of her office.

\---

“Finally!” Jess shouted, straddling Rey’s hips with her makeshift staff pressed gently to Rey’s throat. “Thought I was never gonna beat you.”

Rey twisted, unseating her and rolled away, picking up her staff as she stood up, “You’re getting better. Want to go again, or do you need a break?”

“I might be ready to call it soon. We’ve been at this for two hours. How are you not tired? And don’t tell me you’re not really trying because no one’s beaten me that many times before.”

“I didn't want to actually hurt you,” Rey shrugged. She had been holding back quite a bit. Jess wasn’t bad, but she clearly knew she wasn’t in any danger and she too was also probably holding herself back. Rey didn’t think that actually mattered though. They were probably there more for something to do than to actually train.

Jess’ face was red and she was a little out of breath. She patted her damp chest with a towel and took a long drink from her canteen. Rey leaned back against the cool duracrete wall.

“Come on, let’s clean up,” Jess said heading for the fresher. “Then you can show me the Millenium Falcon. I think everyone in the Academy dreamed of setting foot on it and you get to fly it.”

“Jealous of my Jedi training and my ship?” Rey laughed. She figure Jess wasn't looking to steal the Falcon and even if she was, Rey had programmed some security measures into her to prevent that from happening. Only she or Chewie could get it off the ground now.

“Every kid wanted to either be Luke Skywalker or Princess Leia growing up. I think you'll find a lot of people are jealous of you.”

They quickly washed themselves off and changed into clean clothes. Rey tried to keep her mind off of the situation with Finn and Poe but that was a hell of a lot easier when she’d been working on the pile of broken parts in maintenance or sparring. She knew none of her new friends were going to let her go back to the work she started in the morning.

“Is everything okay?” Jess asked as they left the building. “Admittedly I don't know you that well and it could be just settling in, but you’ve seemed a bit distracted today.”

Rey quickly debated taking the out Jess had given her and saying she wasn't used to the base yet, but then she thought Jess might have some insight that could help her. The General had been kind and informative but the awkwardness of asking a superior officer for sex advice was not lost on her. It'd probably be easier to talk to someone her own age.

“Can we talk about it in private?” she asked. “It's not really something I want everyone to hear about.”

“Oh yeah, sure.”

Jess was silent the rest of the walk to Rey’s ship. Rey felt a little bad about that. She hadn't intended for her to stop making conversation. But it didn't seem to dampen Jess’ usually bouncy mood.

“I've made quite a lot of changes and repairs to her,” Rey said, pulling the tarp off and lowering the ramp. “So she doesn't look like she did when she was Han’s.”

“Chewbacca didn't mind?”

“Chewie said he was happy someone finally cleaned her. She was really dirty and frankly a good chunk of her malfunctions were because dust got into parts. Plus, the wiring was a disaster.”

Rey waved Jess on board, letting her poke around a bit before they wound up sitting in the pilot seats on the bridge. Jess asked her what was bothering her again after admiring the ship’s console and Rey found herself telling her the entire story from how she grew up to her discussion with Leia.

“Wait you got the sex talk from  _ the General _ ?” Jess asked when she was finished. “I mean we all joke about her being our honorary mom but I don't think that's a conversation any of us would have with her.”

“To be fair I'm not the one that brought it up, but she's really easy to talk to once she gets going,” Rey smiled.

“And you're telling me the Resistance’s hottest couple want to be with you and you ran out cuz they were asking personal questions? Girl, that is not an opportunity you run away from. Hell I typically prefer to stick with women and even I wouldn't turn that down.”

“It was probably not my best move. And I'm probably gonna have to talk to them about it, but I'm not sure what I want right now. I didn't know this was a choice I could make and now that I do, I don't know how to make it.”

“That's a tough one,” Jess said. “And it's not really something anyone else can decide for you. But if they hurt you I will be more than happy to get back at them for you. I've been looking for an excuse to shave Poe’s head for ages. He's too pretty. It's not fair.”

“Please don't!” Rey laughed.

“You know what might help? You could make a list of reasons you might want to fuck them and reasons you might not want to. And then go with whichever one is longer.”

Rey thought about that for a minute. It made more sense than what Leia had said about just knowing. “What if I'm not sure that sex is all I want? Or what if we try and I don't like it but I still want to be with them? They might not want that.”

“Finn is definitely sweet on you. I saw the two of you chatting in the fresher the other day. He’ll still like you even if you don't want to fuck him,” Jess said. “And Poe is a fucking gentleman so as soon as you say stop he will back the fuck off.”

Jess was probably right about Finn. She was definitely right about Poe. He’d stopped things as soon as he realized that she was uncomfortable. She didn't even have to ask him to stop. Rey nodded.

“Okay, well, I guess it doesn't hurt to try,” she said. “Doesn't mean I have to do anything.”

“Exactly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [If You Only Knew](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY0HCKOmrW0) by Shinedown.


	6. Dancing in the Shadow of a Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe have a chat. The First Order attacks. Finn has his own mission. Rey convinces Leia to talk with Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains discussion of using suicide as a backup plan in case of capture by the First Order.

Poe still hadn’t spoken to Rey a couple weeks after she left their bunk. He also hadn’t heard anything from Leia about it so he figured that she had been right in thinking it might have just been a misunderstanding, which is what he told Finn when they woke up the next day.

He knew Finn was still disappointed that things hadn’t worked out, and honestly, Poe was too. His feelings for the girl might not have been as strong as Finn’s were, he still didn’t know her that well, but he did like her. She could act a little bristly around him, but he knew she’d been upset that Finn hadn’t waited for her to come back. And she’d melted right into him when he’d picked her up to bring her into the kitchen and again when he and Finn had asked to take her to bed. Poe doubted they’d be able to pick up where they left off, and the thought bothered him more than he thought it should. It wasn’t like that night was the first time he’d gotten close to having sex in a while. He and Finn were doing just fine in that department on their own. But he couldn’t get the image of Rey naked, pressed up against him - the feel of her skin, warm and soft, under his hands - out of his head.

He was glad he had his guitar with him so he could hide the fact that he was getting hard thinking about her and gladder still that the particular tree he’d chosen to sit under was a little out of the way and that there was no one nearby. He plucked at the strings and forced his thoughts away from Rey and back to the song he’d been working on. 

“ __Siren sings so say it now  
Before the candle’s out  
Before the-“ 

Poe heard a noise and looked up to see Rey standing a few feet away watching him.

“It’s pretty,” she said. “Have you seen Finn?”

“He's on a mission. He should be back in a week.”

“Can I sit?”

“Yeah of course,” Poe gestured to his right.

Rey came closer, moving slowly like she thought she might spook him and sat down with her back against the tree’s trunk. He watched her as she pulled her legs up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them, head tilted up against the tree with her eyes closed. She looked relaxed.  

“It sounded really sad,” she said quietly after a few minutes.

“What?” 

“Your song,” Rey said. “It sounded really sad.”

“Oh.”

She turned to look at him, “Can I hear more?”

“Uh, yeah sure,” Poe readjusted his guitar, moving on to the chorus.

“ _We could make it right,_  
Save our souls tonight  
And with a word I’ll take back all the shit I’ve done.  
If you think it’s fine  
Just lay your head next to mine  
And breathe out the sickness trapped inside your lungs  ,” he trailed off.

“Pretty. And sad.”

“Thanks,” Poe put his guitar down beside him and turned to face her. “I’m sorry about what happened between us. We shouldn’t have pushed you into anything so fast.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s my fault.”

Poe frowned at that. They'd done a lot of things wrong that night and it bothered him that Rey blamed herself instead.

He cupped her face, lifting it so she was looking at him and said, “Rey, none of this was your fault. We should not have tried anything after we’d all been drinking and we should have made absolutely sure that you wanted it as much as we did. We were going too fast and that is on us, not you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t even think about whether I wanted it or not,” Rey confessed. “I didn’t know I had a choice.”

He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Poe knew from his experience with Finn that she didn’t want him feeling bad for her. To her it must be a completely normal way to live and someone must’ve ingrained it in her at an early age. The thought of someone hurting her like that made his blood boil. He dropped his hand from her face and squeezed her arm.

“It’s okay,” she told him, “The General already talked to me about it.”

Poe nodded, “Have you spoken with Finn? Or would you prefer I do that?”

“I thought we could do that together? There’s a few things I think the three of us need to discuss.”

Before Poe could respond an alarm started blaring from the comm units surrounding the base.

“Fuck!” Poe said under his breath, jumping up.

“What is it?” Rey asked.

“First Order attack. We gotta pack up and leave. I really liked this planet. Reminded me of home.” Poe grabbed his guitar and started running towards the hangar.

“What do I do?” Rey followed him.

“Grab anything essential and report to your ship. A superior officer will tell you what to do. The Falcon is big enough you'll probably be hauling personnel or supplies.”

“What are you gonna do? X-wings can't carry much.”

“Someone's gotta keep the bastards from blowing the base before you all escape.”

\---

Rey didn't have anything to grab. She didn't go anywhere without her staff and she really just kept extra clothes in her room. She'd gone most of her life with only one set of clothing, so she didn't consider that essential. 

She was also in the habit of taking extra food and water pouches from the mess hall and storing it in the Falcon, just in case. Chewie noticed and informed her that unpackaged food didn't stay edible after a day or two. He must've understood why she was stashing food though because he found a bunch of small containers with lids and told her she could fill those with food and put them in the box that's cold inside and it'd keep the food fresh for months.

She arrived at the Falcon just after he did and they began preflight checks while they waited for their assigned tasks.

“Rey,” an officer called up to her as she was pulling the tarp off her ship.

“You here to tell me where to go?” Rey asked.

“And what you're hauling,” she responded.

Rey jumped down off the top of the Falcon, holding the tarp above her like a parachute. She handed it to Chewie to fold and met her at the bottom of the ramp.

“These are your coordinates for your first checkpoint,” the officer told her, handing her a data chip. “You'll pass through a few different checkpoints before you get to the planet we’re hoping to set up base in.”

“So if the First Order finds me, they won't get the coordinates to the new base?” Rey asked.

“Exactly,” she smiled at her. “You're hauling crates M-5 through 12 and G-7 and 8. You'll also be carrying the General, Master Skywalker, and Dr. Kalonia.”

“Is it a good idea to carry all of the most important people in the same ship?” Rey asked.

“Normally, no, it's a terrible idea. But the Falcon’s shields are far more powerful than is strictly legal, and Chewie says you upgraded them. And Master Skywalker believes he can use the Force to cloak the ship if necessary.”

“Alright well Chewie and I will be ready to go soon as we load up.”

\---

Poe did a comms check once his squadrons were out of atmo and led them towards the approaching First Order ships.

“Red squadron, take the star destroyer to our left. Blue squadron take the one on the right. Their shields will be up but you can still disable their guns,” he told them. “Black squadron with me. We’re gonna lead as many TIE Fighters away as we possibly can. Don't let anything near the exodus ships.”

“Let's toast these assholes!” Jess shouted earning her a cheer from the other pilots.

The First Order had a distinct advantage over the 20 Resistance starfighters, but that hadn't counted for much with Starkiller and Poe knew even if his guys went down, they wouldn't do so without a fight.

BB-8 swivelled her head around behind him pointing out openings in the TIE Fighters’ formation and Poe directed the nearest available pilot to them. He shot two that were tailing L’ulo’s A-wing and another that came close to hitting Jess.

Blaster shots flew past in all directions and it was increasingly difficult to avoid them. Poe dodged one and barely missed being hit by two more.

“I'm hit!” Snap called.

“Can you walk it off?” Poe asked, shooting down another fighter.

“Took a chunk out of one of my wings. Gonna be a bitch to land and more to fix.”

“Stay in if you can. And watch out, he’s still behind you,” Poe said.

Karé flew up from under Snap and took out the fighter that hit him. “There's too many of them!” she said.

“Lead them into each other,” Jess suggested. “It's what Muva and I have been doing. If you time it right they'll either shoot themselves down or crash.”

“Your guns jammed again or is this just what the Academy’s been teaching these days?” L’ulo laughed.

“Bastard shot one off,” Jess replied. “Other still works. This is just way more fun.”

“Jess, you are one crazy bitch,” Karé laughed.

“Just don't do anything stupid,” Poe said. “I don't wanna have to replace any of you cuz you were being idiots.”

“Yes, dad,” Jess joked.

\---

“Luke, whatever you're doing, it's not working!” Rey shouted. “Everyone strap in or hang on to something! We’ve got company!”

They were just barely past D’Qar’s rings. The shields were up but they hadn't gotten the hyperdrive fully booted yet. The ship banked sharply to the left and then again to the right. Rey did a few barrel rolls and swerved again.

Leia held on to the arm rest on her seat and looked over at the other passengers. Dr Kalonia and the other officer had their eyes squeezed shut and were gripping each other’s hands muttering to themselves, likely praying to the Maker that they survive. C-3P0 was complaining, as usual, although she’d grant that this time he had something to complain about. Luke's eyes were closed. He was strapped in and breathing slowly, probably meditating. His face was bloodless though. Whatever he was doing was clearly taking a lot of his energy.

“I need a gunner!” Rey shouted again.

Chewie groaned and started to get up.

“No, you stay there. Need you to warm up the hyperdrive.”

“I'll do it,” Leia said.

“General?”

“You think I got that title by letting the boys have all the fun?” She asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Okay, go. Light him up,” Rey told her.

Leia stumbled back towards the gunner seat and struggled to keep from falling off the ladder into either the chair or the ceiling as Rey did another series of barrel rolls. She slid herself gracelessly into the seat, causing it to swing around violently until she could get a handle on the controls.

She could see the TIE Fighter that was trailing them out her window and lined up a shot. As she pulled the trigger though, the Falcon swerved and the bolts shot out in a different direction. Leia swore and quickly lined up again. She let off another shot and clipped one of the fighter’s wings. It spun out, falling back a little. Leia shot it again, this time hitting its engine and prompting an explosion.

“Nice shot!” Rey yelled back to her.

“Fuck! Rey, it looks like his friends want to join the party!” Leia shouted as two more fighters came at them.

“I see them,” Rey said, flipping the craft again.

“I don't see how this constitutes a party, General,” C-3P0 complained.

“Flashing lights, dancing, and a little fear, Threepio,” Leia replied landing a hit on one of the fighters. “Sounds like a party to me.”

The last fighter pulled up so it was above them, knowing the gunner couldn't reach it up there and started trying to break through the shields.

“General, you ready?”

“Flip us!”

Suddenly they were turning upside down and the TIE Fighter was right in the middle of Leia’s line of sight. She managed to land a fatal hit before the Falcon turned back rightside up. The debris from the enemy ship bounced off the shields and floated away.

Chewie roared his approval and then let Rey know the hyperdrive was all set and the coordinates had been punched in.

Leia and Rey both did a final check to make sure there weren't any more fighters and then Rey sent them into hyperspace.

Leia’s heart was pounding. She’d almost forgotten how much she’d loved being in the middle of all the action. Command had its perks - sure. She never was very good at following orders she disagreed with. But nothing got the blood rushing like a good firefight.

She remembered her first time manning the gunner on the Falcon when Ben was maybe three or four. They'd been on their way to visit the Damerons’ farm and got caught in what Han referred to as a “misunderstanding” with someone he owed money too. She disabled their guns with Ben sitting on her lap clapping his tiny hands at the “fancy lights” and cheering when she spun the gunner around.

Causing serious harm to an attacking ship was no longer an option for her – not when they weren’t fighting a war. She was, after all, a senator. But she wouldn’t allow them to put her son in danger either. She said as much to Han once they’d escaped into hyperspace. Chewie watched Ben for a few hours while they fought and eventually Han made it up to her like he usually did, with his face between her legs.

Leia climbed out of the seat and back up the ladder. The rest of the crew were getting up as well now that they were safely in hyperspace and would be staying there for a while. C-3P0 went off in search of R2-D2 who’d elected to stay in the cargo bay. Luke was waving off Dr. Kalonia who was concerned at how pale and shaky he still was after coming out of his meditative trance.

“He overextended himself,” Leia told her. “Just let him go sleep it off. He’ll be fine in a few hours.”

“If you’d agreed to let me train you when I asked weeks ago-“ Luke grumbled.

“Don’t start,” Leia interrupted him. “Chewie, please get my brother into a bunk.”

Chewie groaned and picked Luke up, ignoring his indignant protestation and carried him off to the bunks.

Leia sat down in the co-pilots seat beside Rey, “That was some flying,” she said. “Poe says you taught yourself?”

“I found an old simulator on Jakku and repaired it because it was something to do. Figured I couldn’t let something I fixed get the better of me.”

Leia smiled and turned to watch the stars streak past out the viewport. It was another thing she missed doing. She did still travel occasionally, but it was always to meet with an old contact from her days as a politician and there was always a lot of work for her to do to prepare for the meeting. Running a war did not leave much time for stargazing.

\---

“We’ve just received word that the First Order has launched an attack on the D’Qar base,” Greer interrupted Finn’s meeting with a few of the senators that made up what was left of the New Republic senate’s Populist Party.

“Is everyone out?” Senator Luton asked.

Calais Luton was an older man. He wore his silver hair in an elaborate braid coiled onto the top of his head. His robes were worn but still a vibrant shade of purple with a silver trim on the hem. His eyes held a sadness that Finn thought must be the result of decades of war.

He was accompanied by Senator Rhada Petras, a stout woman with closely cropped black hair and intricate tattoos framing her eyes and Senator Toriah Ornini, a tall, willowy xeno woman with sharp features and curly green hair that trailed down to her knees.

“The x-wing pilots from Red, Blue, and Black squadrons are holding off two star destroyers and their TIE Fighters while the other squadrons escort supplies and crew transports to their checkpoints,” Greer responded.

“And Senator Organa?” Senator Petras asked.

“Shot three TIE Fighters down before escaping into hyperspace according to the report.”

“Certainly sounds like her,” Senator Luton’s face crinkled into a fond smile.

Finn couldn't help but worry about Poe. He was undoubtedly the best pilot the Resistance had but as good as they were, three X-wing squadrons were no match for two star destroyers. He wished he was there to help with the evacuation but also knew he'd be more help here giving the New Republic intel on the First Order and negotiating supply drop offs and recruitment for the Resistance.

“I suppose we’ll be changing the delivery location for the food and medical supplies?” he asked Greer

She nodded and handed him the datapad with the transmission to read over himself. She was also clearly itching to be out there flying a supply transport to the location of their new base instead of taxiing Finn to meetings with various political and military personnel.

They'd been in negotiations for a week. General Organa had warned him government moved slowly but he hadn't expected it to move this slowly. It was frustrating enough that he was regretting agreeing to the mission instead of starting Force training right away.

The New Republic’s Head of Defence had a team spend three days questioning him about everything he knew about the First Order before they were willing to start discussing an alliance. They were nice about it at least, though Finn suspected that had more to do with their likely well placed fear of General Organa than anything else. He was not naive enough to think they would have treated him as well if he wasn't under her protection.

He couldn't answer half their questions. He wasn't high enough in the First Order’s chain of command to know where they’d target next, or which senators were working for them.

“So what are the new coordinates for delivery?” Senator Ornini asked.

“This can't be right,” Finn gave Greer a questioning look.

“Has to be,” she shrugged.

The senators were staring at them, waiting for an explanation. Finn read over the report a second time to make sure he was reading it right.

“It’s the planet Luke Skywalker was hiding out on,” Greer finally told them.

“And where exactly is that?” Senator Ornini asked, crossing her long arms.

“Well, it'll certainly be difficult for the First Order to find seeing as it's in uncharted space,” Finn said looking up. “The Resistance has the only map. I'll have to put in a request to the General for a copy for you. She didn't send me one.”

\---

“Last transport is away!” Poe called while shooting another TIE Fighter. “Is there anyone whose ship can't handle hyperspace?”

“My hyperdrive took a hit,” a member of red squadron responded.

“Mine can, but really shouldn't,” Snap said.

“Okay, go down, there's a ship left waiting for you. Rest of you warm up your hyperdrives and hold them off a little longer,” Poe said.

TIE Fighters were still swarming them like wasps. They'd taken a hit but there were still more of them than there were X-wings. He hoped they could hold out for another 20 or so minutes.

He pulled up sharply, trying to throw off the fighter tailing him. When that didn't work he looped back around to face it head on. One of his shots must've hit its oxygen tank and he had to pull up again to avoid the resulting fireball as the tank exploded.

Jess, L’ulo and Karé continued their banter over the comms. In the Navy it would've been considered unprofessional at best, but the Resistance was far more relaxed and as long as no one said anything too offensive, Poe didn't care. He had more important things to worry about, like the two fighters trailing Muva who was struggling to out-maneuver them.

“L’ulo, Kun,” he called to the two closest, “Muva’s got a following!”

“On it boss,” Kun said, engaging one of them.

As soon as the transport exited D’Qar’s atmosphere, Poe signalled to his squadrons to head to their first checkpoint. He waited until each of them got out safely before following.

When the stars started shooting past the nose of his ship, Poe finally breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't lose any pilots today which was, quite frankly, a miracle.

He popped open the storage compartment by his knees and took out a bottle of stims. They'd been fighting the First Order for the better part of four hours while the base was evacuated. He was exhausted but still had several hours of flying left before the checkpoint. Realistically he wouldn't be getting much sleep for the two weeks, but he was used to that.

BB-8 asked him if he wanted to play a game with her over the system computer while they flew. He smiled at the request. She was more than capable of sorting out the math required to get to their coordinates and occupying Poe’s mind at the same time. It was something she’d started doing back at the academy when he first got her. She noticed he got bored when it was just him and a long stretch ahead.

\---

“Luke wants to train you?” Rey asked Leia an hour or so into hyperspace.

She'd spent a considerable amount of time thinking about whether she should ask or not but she was curious why someone who could feel the Force would refuse to learn how. She also suspected that it could have something to do with why Luke had been difficult to work with the past few weeks.

Leia sighed and shifted in her seat, pulling her legs up so she was practically curled in a ball and facing Rey. “He has since Endor.”

“But you don't want him to?” Rey asked.

“It's not a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Do you know who Darth Vader was?” Leia asked.

Rey crossed her arms, “General, the Outer Rim isn't that out of touch.”

“I have no idea what you were and were not told growing up,” Leia pointed out. “At this point it's probably best I don't assume you know things just because they're common knowledge here.”

“Fair enough,” Rey relaxed a little. “So what does you not learning the Force have to do with Darth Vader?”

“He's my father.”

Rey turned back to the viewport and thought about that for a moment. It made sense to her. She might have thought twice about learning if it were her family. Though her family could be worse for all she knew. They certainly weren't too good to sell her to Unkar Plutt.

She remembered reading something about Darth Vader destroying Alderaan on an old datapad she’d salvaged and repaired. It wasn't worth anything so she kept it for herself and went through all the files on it. One of them was a book on the history of the Rebellion.

“Wait, your father destroyed your home planet?”

“After spending hours torturing me for information,” Leia wrapped her arms around her legs. “It's not something I particularly enjoy talking about.”

Rey considered how the interrogation with Ren would have gone if she hadn't figured out she was Force sensitive and shivered.

“What if you got captured?” Rey finally asked her. “Do you think you could shield yourself from a Force interrogation?”

“It won't come to that,” Leia said quietly.

“Pretty sure the First Order is doing their best to make sure it does come to that. We do our best to make sure they don't, and you clearly don't actually need us protecting you, but I'm sure there’s a steep price on your head.”

“Two million credits.”

Rey stared at her blankly. Two million credits would buy enough portions to last the rest of her life. She knew the General was important but couldn't imagine a person being worth that much. She doubted her parents got even a fraction of that for her, though she was a child, not a war hero, turned politician, turned military leader.

“What I'm trying to say is no one can guarantee that it won't come to that. And Kylo Ren, I think, made it very clear that he's not interested in making nice.”

Leia reached into her vest pocket and pulled out a small black container. “I can guarantee it won't come to that,” she said gravely.

The implication of Leia's statement were not lost on Rey. “You'd do that? You'd poison yourself?”

“It'd protect the Resistance and save me from having to endure another Force interrogation. And it'd save my son from committing matricide.”

Rey was at a loss for words. She just stared at the General blankly trying to process what she just said.

“Most of the members of the Resistance would gladly die for me. Well, for the legend they think I am. It's only fair that I'd gladly die for them too.”

“But without you-”

“You'd still have Admiral Akbar to plan missions. C-3P0 and Greer know everything about running the base and I've started training Finn in diplomacy. Poe already has mostly free reign over the pilots. And Luke is here to oversee the Force sensitive recruits. The Resistance will survive.”

“We’d do better with you,” Rey answered. “I don't think most of your people will forgive themselves if you took those. I think Master Skywalker has a point here. I assume you're upset with him ‘cause you're both stubborn and one of you said something upsetting to the other, but I think you should talk to him.”

“Did my idiot brother put you up to this?”

Rey shook her head, “We can all feel how tense things are between you two. We’ll be flying almost two weeks, if not more. It'd be best for everyone if you sort things out.”

Leia nodded once and turned back to facing the viewport, her legs still curled up with her on the copilot seat. Rey took that to mean she was done with their conversation and got up to leave the bridge.

“I'll talk to Luke if you talk to Finn and Poe,” Leia called back to her just as she got to to door.

“I told Poe I would as soon as Finn gets back,” Rey replied.

She headed for the galley to take stock. If they had to ration their food, it was better to find out sooner rather than later.

\---

“The General did give us a map,” Greer told Finn when they got back to the apartment their hosts had put them up in.

“I know but she didn't say whether or not I should share it with the senators. She knows these people. I don't. I don't know if we can trust them.”

“The D’Qar base was attacked not long after the senators were given the coordinates,” Greer said thoughtfully.

Finn shook his head, “The First Order knew where it was before I defected. It was only a matter of time before they attacked. I'm a little surprised they didn't come sooner to be honest. The destruction of Starkiller must've set them back more than I thought.”

Finn retrieved his datapad and checked to see if he had any messages on it from the General or Poe. There was nothing from Leia but he had one that Poe must've sent before the evacuation. It didn't say much, was mostly just gossip from the pilots and an “I miss you”.

He sent a reply that he knew Poe probably wouldn't get for a couple weeks before crafting a message to the General to inform her how negotiations were going and ask if she wanted the Senators to know the coordinates of the new base or if she wanted to arrange a separate drop off location.

He started a third message to Rey but wasn't sure what to say to her. He missed her a lot, but was worried she didn't want to talk to him. After rewriting the first line five or six times he gave up and put the datapad down.

\---

Luke was woken by a knock on the door. He grumbled and pulled himself up but before he could go answer it, it opened and Leia stepped inside.

“How long have I been out?” he asked, rubbing his face.

“About six hours,” Leia climbed up and sat on the bunk across from his. There were four in the room, two stacked into one wall and two into the opposite.

She looked like she wanted to say something so he waited, his legs dangling over the edge of the bunk.

“Rey said I should talk to you,” she finally said, “but I don't know what to say.”

“I hurt you,” Luke said softly.

“You did. My reasons for not wanting to use the Force are valid ones.”

“They are,” Luke said. “And I'm sorry I insinuated you're a bad general because of them. You're not. I do still think you should learn.”

“I'm a fighter,” Leia said. “I lead armies. I wage political battles. I argue with the people I love. I'm so tired but fighting is what I'm good at. It's probably the only thing I'm good at. I made a terrible wife and mother. But I'm an excellent general.”

“To be fair, Han was never easy to be with,” Luke smiled. He'd had more than his fair share of arguments with the man when they were still together.

Leia smiled back nodding almost imperceptibly before growing serious again. “If you train me to use the Force, I  _ will _ use it. That cannot be allowed to happen. I am more like our father than you are willing to admit. I can’t be sure I won't be corrupted, and neither can you. Maybe I'd start with destroying the First Order, but I might not be able to stop with that. So I can't learn how to use my gifts. Do you understand?”

Luke thought about that for a minute. She was right about being their father’s daughter. Leia didn't always look for the peaceful solution like Luke did. He thought maybe that was because of his Jedi training, but her adoptive parents had taught her politics and diplomacy from a very young age and it hadn't made much of a difference with her.

She rarely negotiated with her enemies - not that a genocidal militant group like the First Order should necessarily be negotiated with - preferring instead to defeat them. He understood that as well. A defeat was more final than a cease-fire.

Leia was a warrior, not a diplomat. She started wars, and then finished them. She was good at it. And there was blood on her hands, much of which was the result of revenge. He'd seen her kill; watched her strangle Jabba the Hutt with the chains he tried to subjugate her with. She was terrifying without the Force. With it she could very well be unstoppable.

But she wasn't Dark. Even with all the blood and death that surrounded her, she was still luminous. He wanted her to understand that - to know that the good she’d done far outweighed the bad. He wanted her to believe it. To believe Kylo Ren was not her fault. To believe that the rise of the First Order was not her fault. To believe she hadn't failed at everything she'd done in her life. But he knew she wouldn't if he told her that.

“I do,” he said slowly, “but I still believe you are stronger than you think you are. I don't know anyone else who could have survived everything you've lived through and come out the other side full of hope.”

“You've been living alone on an island in uncharted space the last few years,” Leia pointed out with an eyebrow raised. “You don't know that many people anyways.”

Luke laughed at that shaking his head, “I can see that is going to be one of those things you never drop.”

“Like you dropped training me?” Leia laughed.

“Okay, you've made your point.”

“Good,” Leia said lying down. “You pull that shit again and you won't like what happens.”

“Worse than the silent treatment?”

“Usually insubordination results in a period of really unpleasant work detail.”

Luke crossed his arms and shook his head laughing, “Leia I'm your brother, it's my job to be insubordinate.”

Leia rolled her eyes at him, “Last I checked your job included training Force sensitive individuals, shielding our transports from First Order scouts, and helping us take down my son. I don't see insubordination anywhere in that list. Now if you don't mind, I think I might have a nap. Someone once told me I don't get enough rest.”

Luke hopped down from his bunk and immediately regretted that decision. He let out a rough grunt as his knees buckled and put a hand on the wall to steady himself.

“Getting old, Luke?” Leia teased.

“No older than you,” he responded. “Have a good sleep, Leia.”

Luke left the room thinking he probably owed Rey a thank you for convincing Leia to talk to him. He'd approached her on his own a few times to apologize but she wouldn't see him. Whatever Rey had said had clearly worked.

He found her on the floor of the galley with the freezer and a few cupboards open surrounded by a mismatched assortment of small containers and packaged food. She was frowning at a piece of flimsi on her lap with a bunch of tick marks on it and mumbling to herself.

“Need some help?” he asked her.

Rey jumped at his voice, looking up at the same time she reached behind her for her staff.

“Rey, it's just me,” he said with his hands out defensively in front of him. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you.”

She immediately let go of her staff and relaxed, “Kriff Luke, don't sneak up on me like that!”

“I'll try to walk louder next time,” Luke smiled. “Mind if I sit?”

Rey gestured to an empty space on the floor and Luke sat down. “I think we’re going to have to ration these.”

“Did they not give us enough?”

Rey looked over at him confused, “I packed these. Didn't know there’d be this many people when we needed it.”

“Rey, one of the crates we’re hauling is food for us to eat on our way to wherever it is we’re headed.”

Rey looked at the food scattered around the floor and let her shoulders drop. “Oh,” she said quietly.

“Rey, have you been smuggling food?”

Rey blushed and looked down, “The kitchen never questioned when I came back for more. I wanted to make sure I had some in case I couldn't stay.”

Luke regarded her for a minute not entirely sure what he should say. She was getting better at guarding her emotions, and he tried to make a point of not looking for them when she wasn't projecting. If he were being honest he was more than a little relieved when she started to get the hang of it. He knew more about her personal life that he ever hoped to know about someone he was teaching and her feelings for Finn and Poe had him thinking maybe the Order wasn't completely wrong about their no attachments rule.

“Leia won't throw you out,” he finally settled on. “My sister’s got a habit of taking in strays. Far as she's concerned, you're family now. She takes care of her own.”

“In my experience family doesn’t mean a whole lot,” Rey said.

“Some of us run when we get scared. Leia fights. It's why she hasn't spoken to me in weeks. Which reminds me, I wanted to thank you for whatever it is you said to her.”

“I just told her she should talk to you.”

Luke nodded, “Well you won't get in trouble for this and you can keep doing it if it makes you feel safe, but you don't have to hoard food anymore, little one. You're in good hands here.”

Rey didn't say anything, just looked at the containers scattered around her. He felt her control falter for a moment but she regained it quickly.

“Come on,” Luke said getting up and holding out a hand to her. “Let’s put these away before they thaw and we can go unload the supplies that were packed for us.”

\---

BB-8 interrupted their game to inform Poe it was time to pull out of hyperspace because they were coming up on their checkpoint. Poe was grateful for the chance to stretch his legs and send a message to Finn to let him know he was okay while his bird was refuelled.

“You know you're our leader right?” Jess’ voice came across his comms as soon as he pulled them out. “You're supposed to lead us and you're the last one out.”

All three squadrons were in a holding pattern waiting for him. He quickly counted to make sure everyone made it there.

“I’ll have you know I can command from any position,” Poe joked, knowing she’d take the bait.

“Ooh I'll have to ask Finn about that one,” Jess laughed. He heard laughter coming from a few of his other pilots too.

“He probably won't tell you,” Karé said. “He's a gentleman.”

“He's too good for the likes of me, I'll tell you that much,” Poe said. “Come on I need to get out of this cockpit.”

He lead them towards their checkpoint, a tiny, barely inhabited moon in neutral space. They'd used it in their move to D’Qar as well. The inhabitants overlooked who they were and didn't ask questions if they were paid enough and the General had a contact who worked there. The moon had a mining operation and a fuel refinery set up and not a whole lot else.

Poe gave the landing codes to the traffic control officer when he was prompted and they were directed to a plateau to land. A few other Resistance ships dotted the ground. There were a couple tanker droids moving between them, filling their tanks.

He released his cockpit and then BB-8’s harness and pulled himself out slowly. His legs were stiff and sore from hours in the same position. He gingerly let himself drop to the ground, keeping a hold on the ladder to steady himself.

“Can you stay with the ship while I check us in?” Poe crouched down to ask BB-8 when she lowered herself to the ground. She nodded, beeping that she wouldn't let anything happen.

“Okay. And play nice with the other droids. If anything goes wrong you come to me, don't take it out on the tankers. Got it? I don't want to cause an incident.”

BB-8 started defending herself loudly and Poe held up a hand to calm her down.

“B, I know you were trying to help and I appreciate it. But tanker droids do what people tell them to. So yelling at them just makes them confused. They're not smart like you. If you come get me though, we can talk to the people who told them to hurt our girl and see if we can't come to an understanding.”

BB-8 grumbled.

“Yes, I promise that understanding can involve your taser,” Poe rolled his eyes and laughed. “Just come get me if there's an issue. Otherwise I'll be back in an hour.”

“Quite the little guard,” Karé said from behind Poe.

Poe smiled and patted BB-8 before pulling himself back up with a groan and stretching his legs out again. The rest of his pilots had landed and were scattered around them. He gestured for them to follow him and headed to the small building near their landing site.

It wasn't large enough for all of them to fit inside so their contact was sitting at a desk out front, signing them in and handing out packages. She was a stern woman with curly grey hair and sun damaged skin. Her work clothes were worn and had been patched several times and she looked like she hadn't slept in a while.

“Commander Dameron!” she greeted him with a smile standing up.

“Niksa,” he nodded. They'd met a while back when the General had him drop off the packets she was now handing out and negotiate payment for her and her crew to keep quiet. She'd been a little handsy with him, but he'd managed to politely turn her down without offending her or making her change her mind about helping the Resistance.

“I was hoping you'd pass through here. Come and give me a hug, darling,” she came around the desk and pulled him into her arms before he could respond.

This time Poe made sure to duck so her hands wound up around his neck instead of his waist. He wanted to make it as difficult as he possibly could for her to grope his ass again. He could feel his pilots watching them when she started nuzzling into his neck and threading her fingers into his tangled hair and he moved to pull her off him before one of them said something she might take offence to. The First Order had set pretty high bounties on their heads and if Niksa got upset, she could decide she didn't want to settle for the stipend the General was paying her for her silence.

“I’m sorry we can’t stay longer,” he said once he had her at an arm’s length. “I’ve got to get my men checked in though. We’ve got a tight schedule and a long road ahead.”

“Leaving me already sweetheart?” Niksa pouted.

“I’m afraid we have to. Fate of the galaxy and all that.”

Niksa shook her head sadly but she returned to her desk and gestured for the pilots to line up. It took them longer than it should have because she kept pausing to look at Poe. He could practically feel her eye-fucking him and it made his skin crawl but he kept a straight face and didn’t comment on it.

“You okay boss?” Karé stepped up beside him. “If you want I can supervise this and you can go back to the ships.

Poe shook his head, “It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before. I’m fine. I’m just hoping no one says anything to her. We need her to not turn us in.”

Karé nodded and patted him on the back, “Let me know if you want me to take care of her. You’ve done it for me more times than I can count.”

“Appreciated,” Poe told her. “But we’ll be on our way out very soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [Get To Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvVyYWrqA5Q) by Lady Antebellum.


	7. I Don't Think That I'm Afraid Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Poe, and Rey finally have a proper discussion. Then they have sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains even more discussion of past rape/noncon/dubcon. Also contains explicit sexual content.

Finn arrived at the new base about a week after everyone else did. He and Greer were immediately called into the General’s office. She wanted them to go over in detail the arrangement they’d finally settled on with the New Republic. Finn had sent her a mission report when they were on their way back outlining everything, but she said she had a few questions about it.

“I’m impressed,” she told them when they sat down. “I don’t think I could’ve gotten a better deal if I’d gone down there myself.”

“You know, I think the base getting attacked and having to relocate halfway through negotiations did actually help our case,” Greer said.

“They were much more amenable after that,” Finn agreed. “And Senator Luton seemed both impressed and unsurprised to hear how you escaped the First Order.”

“He shouldn’t be surprised,” the General smiled. “He’s seen first hand what I’m capable of. When will supplies start arriving?”

Finn wanted to ask her what she meant but decided against it.

“We brought some with us. There are a couple crates of blasters the New Republic liberated from a cartel they busted a while back. I checked them on the way back. They’re missing their serial numbers but otherwise they’re in good shape.”

“The cartel would’ve removed those so that they could sell them without having them traced back anywhere,” the General said nodding. “And the personnel?”

“They’ve promised us several squadrons of pilots and their accompanying ships should be arriving in the next couple weeks. We’re sending them through various checkpoints as well to be safe,” Greer said. “We’ll also be receiving the X-wing parts that we requested and a few more technicians.”

The General asked them a few more questions about the food supplies they also brought back with them and whether or not they were well treated. After about an hour she dismissed them, telling them to get some rest and that they could unload their cargo in the morning. Drills were still cancelled while they finished setting up the base.

“Finn!” Poe ran towards him, his face lighting up. Finn dropped his bag and wrapped Poe up in a hug, kissing him deeply.

“I’ll, uh, leave you guys to it and get Threepio to show me to my hut,” Greer excused herself.

Finn and Poe didn’t notice, too wrapped up in each other. Finn knew he’d missed Poe but didn’t realize how much until he saw him. He was tired and didn’t know the new base at all, but he would be happy to spend the night standing outside the General’s office hugging his boyfriend.

“I missed you so much, buddy,” Poe said pulling away.

“Missed you too,” Finn said grinning.

“Come on, let’s go home,” Poe grabbed Finn’s stuff off the ground and wrapped his arm around his waist leading him towards the huts.

\---

Poe turned the light on when they got inside and set Finn’s bag down by their desk. “I unpacked everything already. We can move stuff though if you don’t-” he cut off when he noticed Rey sitting on their bed, her staff leaning against the wall.

“Rey?” Finn said.

“Hi,” she said shyly fidgeting with her fingers. “I uh, I hope you don’t mind I let myself in. I just- well, I missed you and I thought we should all talk. I can leave though if it’s not a good time.”

“Not at all,” Poe said. “Stay.”

“I missed you too. Can I give you a hug?” Finn asked.

Rey nodded and he sat down beside her pulling her into his arms. Poe pulled the chair out from the desk, brought it closer to the bed, and sat down watching them.

“I owe both of you an apology,” Rey said when they pulled apart.

Poe shook his head, “You don’t.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Finn said.

Rey smiled sadly, “But I did. I shouldn’t have just run out like that. I didn’t mean to make you worry, I just didn’t really want to get into my past. I didn’t want you thinking worse of me or feeling sorry for me.”

“Rey, love,” Finn cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes, “I don’t know what happened to you, but I understand and it wasn’t your fault. And you don’t have to talk about it or do anything if you don’t want to.”

“I know, but I think I should tell you.”

“Only if you want to,” Poe said.

He and Finn listened while she recounted her experiences on Jakku. Poe clenched his fists, shaking with anger when she mentioned what Nell had taught her but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t surprised she’d gotten so confused when he asked her what she liked and in her position he probably would’ve done the same. There were tears in her eyes when she finished her story and he could tell she was fighting to keep her head up to see their reactions.

“I’m sorry we weren’t clearer with you that you did have a choice whether or not you wanted to be with us,” he said placing a hand gently on her knee.

Finn wrapped her up in his arms again and kissed the top of her head, “I’m sorry you had to go through that too. Nell may have had good intentions but what she taught you wasn’t right.”

Poe and Rey both looked up at him surprised. “Too?” Poe asked almost afraid to hear what Finn meant by that.

“Did the First Order teach you the same thing?” Rey asked quietly.

“Not exactly,” Finn said hesitantly. “But if a commanding officer asked you to do something, you had to do it or they’d send you for reconditioning. Some of the officers took advantage of their power.”

“Kriff,” Poe breathed out. “Did someone-” he couldn’t finish the question.

Finn just nodded, giving him a look that said he didn’t really want to talk about it. “It won’t happen again though. Not here. It’s safe here. For you too, Rey.”

Poe smiled at the two of them. Finn still had his arms around Rey. Her head was tucked under his chin and he was moving gently, almost rocking her as he stroked her hair. Poe wanted to hold them both and protect them from all the terrible things they’d been through but he couldn’t do anything to change their pasts.

“You two are the strongest people I’ve ever met,” he said instead.

\---

Rey felt safer than she had in a long time wrapped up in Finn’s arms with Poe absently tracing his thumb over her kneecap and watching the two of them. There was more she wanted to talk to them about though, so she shifted and Finn immediately loosened his embrace.

“Are you okay?” he asked looking concerned when she pulled out of his arms.

“There was something else,” Rey said softly.

Poe straightened in his chair and Finn nodded encouragingly.

“You said you wanted me to join you,” Rey spoke slowly, not entirely sure how best to word the question. “Do you- is-” she took a deep breath. “Was that just a one time thing?”

“No,” Poe said. “We meant it when we said we liked you. It’s the rest of it that we didn’t handle well.”

“I still want to be with you, Rey,” Finn told her. “In whatever way you are comfortable with.”

“Me too,” Poe said.

Rey smiled. Her heart was beating fast and her hands were shaking a little. She’d been worried they might not still want her. Not after what had happened between them the last time. Hearing them say they still did lifted a weight off her chest. She nervously tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Can you kiss me again Finn?” she asked him.

Finn cupped her cheek again smiling, “Of course, love.”

He leaned towards her, holding her head in his hand and captured her lips in his. She opened up to him immediately, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and curling her fingers into his short hair. It felt better than she’d remembered, spreading warmth throughout her body and she felt the tingling sensation come back between her legs. She moaned softly into his mouth pressing herself into him and he slowly pulled back, brushing the hair off her face.

“That okay?” he asked her.

Rey nodded, feeling a little dazed. “Poe?” she asked turning towards him.

“Yes?” his eyes were dark and he was a little flushed.

“Can I?”

“Anything you want, love,” he answered.

Rey stood up and then climbed into his lap straddling his hips and kissed him as well. She felt his arms wrap around her cradling her spine and she combed her hands into his hair. It was as soft as she remembered. She tugged gently and felt his hips buck up against her. He moved his hands up to her shoulders and pulled her back gently breaking their kiss.

“I think there might be a few more things we should discuss first, sweetheart,” he told her.

She climbed off him quickly, embarrassed and worried that maybe he changed his mind. He stopped her when she moved to reach for her staff.

“No, Rey, I’m not saying I don’t want to, because Maker knows I do. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable again. Neither of us do.”

“I think now might be a good time to discuss your limits,” Finn said. “Then we can go back to kissing or whatever else you want.”

“Limits?” Rey wasn’t sure what they meant.

“You don’t know what you like right?” Finn asked. “But you know what you really don’t like. So if you tell us that, then we can avoid doing those things while we help you figure out what you enjoy.”

“Oh,” Rey said thinking. “I do know I like the kissing though. And the last time when Poe was talking in my ear it made me feel all tingly, which the General said means I probably liked that.”

“Then those are both things we can do more of,” Poe said. “What about things you don’t like?”

Rey thought about it for a minute. “I don’t like being called baby. It feels wrong. And I don’t like when guys like, um, finish in my mouth?”

“Okay. Then we won’t do either of those things. Is there anything else?” Finn asked.

“I think I don’t like drinking. Or maybe I don’t like drinking that much? My head felt really weird and there were too many people. I think that’s not really related though.”

Poe smiled at her, “Sweetheart, it’s probably best that we don’t have a repeat of last time. Nobody’s gonna drink tonight.”

“Okay,” Rey said. “Wait, do you guys have any limits?”

“I don’t like being tied up,” Poe said. “Not since I was interrogated by Ren anyways. You can use your hands to hold me but not ropes or restraints or anything like that. And I need no to mean no and stop to mean stop. I’m not one for playing with the idea of non-consent.”

“And both of us would prefer to keep non-sex related bodily fluids inside our bodies,” Finn said.

Rey nodded, thinking that those were things she agreed with. Consent seemed to be a thing that the Resistance took very seriously. It wasn’t really something she’d been taught about so it was a little hard for her to wrap her head around. Not that she would do something someone asked her not to, but that she could also tell people not to do something and they’d listen to her. What Finn said seemed like a given to her, but then she supposed there were people who liked all kinds of things and maybe it was good to cover your bases.

“I agree with the last two. The first one, I don’t think I mind that much. But I won’t do it to you Poe,” she told them.

“Do you have any others you can think of?” Poe asked.

“Not off the top of my head.”

“Okay, in that case, how about if we do something and you don’t like it, tell us and we won’t do it again?” Finn asked. “Does that sound good?”

Rey nodded.

“Oh one more thing,” Poe said. “I feel more comfortable doing something if I get verbal confirmation. So if it’s okay with you, can you say yes instead of nodding? Otherwise I might worry you don’t really want to do something so I won’t do it.”

“That seems fair,” Rey said. “Anything else?”

“Not that I can think of,” Finn said. “Poe?”

“No, I think that about covers it,” Poe stood up and tucked his chair back into the desk before joining both of them on the bed. “Do you want to do this tonight?”

“If you and Rey both do,” Finn said.

“Yes,” Rey said.

Poe stepped between Finn’s legs and bent down to kiss him. Rey watched the two of them together thinking how beautiful they both were. Finn threaded his hands into Poe’s hair and tugged on it, making him moan into his mouth. Poe pressed forward, making Finn move back further onto the bed before he crawled up onto it, still kissing Finn.

Finn broke the kiss and turned to Rey grabbing her hand with his, “If you want to just watch, that’s perfectly okay, but you’re also more than welcome to join in.”

“I- I’m not sure what to do,” she admitted, looking down at her lap.

Poe pulled off Finn and stood up again, moving towards her, “Would you rather we took the lead here?”

“It’s what I’m used to,” she said.

“But is it what you want?” he pressed.

Rey thought about it. She really wasn’t sure what she should do. She didn’t want to interrupt them when they were kissing, but she didn’t know how else she was supposed to join in. It would actually be easier for her to figure things out if either she just watched them do what they liked to do with each other or she let them take the lead and do whatever they wanted with each other and her.

“Yes,” she finally said thinking she might prefer to be involved rather than just a spectator.

“Okay,” Finn said. “In that case, Poe I think all three of us are wearing too many clothes.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you there,” Poe said. “Rey?”

Rey moved to start undoing her belts but Poe stopped her.

“Why don’t you let us,” he said, pulling her up so she was standing as well.

Finn stood up behind her and pressed a kiss into the back of her neck and Poe stepped closer and took her lips in his. He licked along the seam of her mouth and she opened up for him, letting his tongue in to slowly explore. She threaded her hands under the hem of his tunic, feeling his solid muscles and warm skin against hers. Rey figured since they’d both agreed that wearing less was a good plan of action, he’d be okay with her pulling his tunic off. She slowly pulled it up his torso and he broke the kiss when she got to his arms and let her pull it all the way off him.

Finn moaned into her neck, nibbling gently and she leaned back into him to get a good look at Poe. He looked even better without his shirt on she thought.

“You two see something you like?” Poe raised an eyebrow and Finn giggled.

“Very much,” Finn said, pulling Poe closer to them so Rey was sandwiched between them while they kissed over her shoulder.

She let her hands wander up and down Poe’s sides and around his back, feeling his muscles shift and move as he pressed his hips into her. He was hard against her hips and she ground back against him, making him moan. Finn’s hand rested against her hips stilling her movements and broke of the kiss.

“He likes when you do that,” Finn said into her ear.

“Mmm I can tell,” Rey answered looking up into Poe’s dark eyes. “You do too.”

Finn turned her around so she was facing him, “Yeah, I do.”

He kissed her, harder than the last time and she felt Poe’s arms wrap around her and fumble with the buckles on her belt. They opened and gave way and she heard then clatter to the floor a little ways away from her.

“You two are so hot,” Poe whispered into her ear. “I could watch you all night. Bet you’d look real good spread out on the bed with his head between your thighs.”

Rey wasn’t really sure why Finn would have his head between her thighs but the way he said it sent shivers down her spine and heat pooling between her legs. Poe’s hands untied the drawstring at her waist and pushed her trousers over her hips so they fell to her ankles. She toed off her boots and kicked them to the side with her pants, without pulling away from Finn’s lips.

Finn broke away though, pulling his own shirt off and stepping back to admire her, leaning back against Poe in just her tunic panting while he kissed and sucked at her neck. Poe’s hands moved up her sides, cupping her breasts through her clothes and she moaned, closing her eyes and resting her head back against Poe’s shoulder.

“Can I remove this?” Poe asked.

“Yes,” Rey breathed out, standing back upright.

Poe pulled his hands from her breasts and lifted the hem of her tunic up, pulling it over her head and tossing it aside. Rey leaned back into him and looked over at Finn who had removed his pants and was standing before her naked and hard, biting his lower lip.

“You’re gorgeous,” she told him, holding her hand out and pulling him back towards her when he grabbed it.

“You are too,” he told her.

Poe stepped back away from them and Finn moved his hands up to the back of her head, gently pulling her hair out of her buns. He combed his fingers through it, getting the tangles out.

“Your hair looks nice down,” Finn said. “And I can do this-”

He fisted his hand against her scalp and tugged making her bare her throat to him. It stung sharply but she found she liked it. Finn pressed a kiss into her throat, sucking her skin between his teeth. She gripped his shoulders sharply and moaned.

“Fuck, Rey,” Poe said from the bed. “You two should come over here.”

Finn loosened his grip and moved her backwards to the bed. He settled her between Poe’s legs so she was leaning back against his chest, her head resting against his shoulder. Poe tucked her hair back behind her ear and traced it with his tongue. Finn settled on top of them with his hips between her legs kissing Poe before turning back to her.

“Is this okay?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she answered. “I like this.”

“Good,” Poe said into her ear. “We want you to enjoy yourself.”

Finn went back to kissing her neck, but this time he started moving down her body, kissing and sucking at her collarbone and chest. She arched up against him, crying out when he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. Poe fisted a hand into her hair and whispered into her ear how good she looked and all the things they wanted to do with her. She didn’t know what half of them were but it was hard for her to focus with Finn’s mouth sending jolts straight to her core.

Finn pulled off her slowly and let his tongue lick over her now hard nipple before continuing his path down her stomach. Poe replaced Finn’s mouth with his hand, cupping her breast and massaging it gently, rolling her nipple between his fingers. She was breathing heavily now and her hips were thrusting up against nothing, trying to find something to grind against.

Finn sucked a bruise into her hip bone and another where her thighs met her stomach causing her to arch up again. He settled between her legs, pressing her thighs open more, hooking them over Poe’s legs and blowing cool air against her clit. She wasn’t sure what he was doing and she couldn’t move much in this position without asking them to let her up, but it felt nice and she trusted that they would stop if she told them to. She felt exposed but found that with them, she liked that.

“Can I?” Finn asked.

“Can you what?” Rey still didn’t know what he was intending on doing.

“Show her,” Poe said. “Tell him to stop if you don’t like it love.”

Rey gasped as Finn moved in and slowly licked her sex. She’d never felt anything like that before. He did it a few more times and then pulled her into his mouth, sucking gently before slowly pressing his tongue into her. She was moaning loudly now, Poe’s hand still fisted in her hair and the other pinching and tugging at her nipples. She felt him hard against her back, slowly rocking his hips against her.

“Do you like that, love?” Poe asked her. “Finn is really enjoying this. See how he’s grinding his hips into the bed?”

Rey looked down at Finn. His eyes were closed and he was rocking into the mattress and moaning into her cunt. She moaned again.

“He likes it when you tell him he’s doing a good job,” Poe said.

“He is! Oh Finn, that feels amazing!” she gasped out.

Finn pulled off her grinning as she whimpered and said, “I’m glad you like that. Poe, she tastes so good.”

His fingers pressed against her entrance and he slipped two into her slowly. She arched into him at the intrusion and he licked at the sensitive bundle of nerves above her opening. Poe tugged her hair harder, tilting her head back so he could kiss her. She moaned into his mouth, her hips bucking against Finn’s mouth. She felt like her body was coiled tightly, waiting to snap. She needed something but wasn’t sure what.

Finn’s fingers brushed against something inside her and he sucked her clit into his mouth and suddenly she felt like she was crashing. Her body spasmed and she cried out into Poe’s mouth. Warm waves flooded through her veins and her toes felt tingly. Finn eased her through it, still licking and sucking and thrusting into her with his fingers until she slowed down and he eased himself off her, grinning.

She gave herself a minute, breathing heavily before opening her eyes and looked down at him. Poe had let go of her hair and was running his hand up and down her arms. Finn grinned up at her, his face wet and eyes bright and pulled himself up off his stomach.

“You are incredible,” Poe said into her ear.

“What was that?” she asked, her heart still pounding and residual shocks still pulsing through her core. She felt simultaneously weightless and like her body was too heavy to move.

“Have you never come before?” Finn asked, unhooking her legs from over Poe’s so she could stretch them out.

“Is that what just happened?”

Finn and Poe both laughed. Poe shifted and pulled himself out from behind her so she could lie down between the two of them. Finn kissed Poe and Poe moaned, tasting her on Finn’s mouth.

“Yeah,” Finn said. “We can do it again if you want. For you, coming doesn’t mean you need to be finished like it does for us. Your body can have several in a row.”

“I think I’m going to need a minute if you want to go again,” Rey laughed. “Kriff, that was amazing.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed that,” Poe brushed her sweat dampened strands of hair off her face and kissed her forehead softly.

“What about you two?” Rey asked.

“We enjoyed it too,” Finn said.

“No I mean you two didn’t come yet.”

“Oh, well we don’t have to be finished yet,” Finn said. “If you are, that’s okay though.”

“No I want you to feel like I do,” Rey said.

“Well, what if I fuck you while Poe fucks me?” Finn asked. “It’ll take a few minutes for Poe to get me ready for that so you’ll get a little time to recover.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Rey said.

“Yeah I’m with you on that one, Rey,” Poe chimed in. He turned over and started digging through the bedside table drawer and pulled out a few things.

Finn leaned over her, pressing into her side and combed his fingers into her hair kissing her softly. He was so gentle with her and she wasn’t used to that. They both were. Even with Poe pulling her hair it’d still been softer than anyone else ever had been. She felt safe and cared for.

Rey reached up and cradled Finn’s head in her hand, stroking her thumb gently across his cheekbone and looking into his eyes. He had such nice eyes. She moved her hand so her thumb was brushing over his lips and gasped when he sucked it into his mouth.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Poe gasped, palming at his cock.

They both looked over at him, Finn still holding Rey’s thumb between his lips and sucking on it gently. He pulled away with a pop and grinned at Poe.

“I can think of a better use for that,” Finn told him nodding at his crotch. “Come back here.”

Poe leaned down and kissed Finn and then Rey before moving towards the end of the bed. Finn settled between Rey’s legs, holding his weight up with one arm and stroking her hair with the other.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she said, wrapping her arms around his back and stroking them up and down his spine. His hard cock was pressing against her and she ground her hips up into him to hear him moan.

\---

Finn couldn’t think of anywhere he’d rather be than between Poe and Rey. Rey was so trusting of them both; something he almost couldn’t believe given what she’d been through. She was also so responsive. He could happily spend all night exploring her body and figuring out what she liked best. And Poe was doing everything he could to make sure both of them were comfortable.

Poe splayed a hand across the small of his back. “Ready, love?” he asked.

“Please, Poe,” Finn said and Poe slowly pressed a slicked finger into him. Finn breathed in sharply and Rey ran a hand along his jaw before pulling him down to kiss her. Her lips were soft and wet and her tongue cautiously licked into his mouth. She moaned into him and bucked her hips up looking for friction. He moaned again when she pressed against his erection.

Poe slowly thrust in and out of him, loosening him so he could insert another finger. By the time he started scissoring him open, Finn was a whimpering mess, begging Poe for more, trying to fuck himself back on Poe’s hand and pressing sloppy kissed to Rey’s throat. Rey stroked his hair and kissed his temples, whispering into his ear.

“Finn, you’re gorgeous. So good for us. So good at this.”

He reached between them, running his fingers through her slick folds and she arched up into him.

“Can I?” he asked.

“Yes,” Rey said.

Finn lined himself up at her entrance and pushed into her slowly. She moaned loudly, her muscles fluttering around him trying to accommodate his size. He stilled when he bottomed out both to let her adjust to the intrusion and to let Poe finish opening him up so he could press in to Finn.

“Stars, Rey, you feel so good. So hot and wet for me,” he said, his arm shaking with the effort of holding himself still.

“Are you ready, love?” Poe asked after a minute.

“Hurry up,” Finn said. “Want to feel you too.”

Poe pressed slowly into Finn and Finn moaned at the burning stretch, burying his face back in Rey’s neck. He felt Poe bottom out and then lay his body down over Finn’s back to kiss Rey and he moaned again, bucking his hips.

Poe gave him a minute before he started shallowly thrusting in and out of Finn and Rey moaned as it moved Finn in and out of her as well. Poe pulled almost all the way out and then pushed back in faster, whispering something in his ear that he wasn’t registering. Rey’s hands clawed at his shoulders, her head thrown back and hair splayed out in a tangled mess around her.

Finn let out a strangled series of pleas and nonsense against Rey’s shoulder. He didn’t really know what he was begging for he just didn’t want it to stop. Rey’s walls were contracting around him with each thrust of Poe’s hips and Poe was brushing up against the tangle of nerves inside him. He wasn’t sure what to focus on so he just let his brain short out and his hands fist in the blankets under them.

Suddenly Rey was shaking underneath him and tightening around his cock and then he was coming too, his eyes shut tightly and a flash of white searing across his eyelids. He collapsed on top of Rey, fuzzy and boneless, breathing heavily.

When the fog started lifting he noticed both she and Poe were still softly praising and comforting him him, telling him he was okay and good and theirs. He pressed lazy kisses into Rey’s neck and whimpered when Poe slowly pulled out of him. He pushed himself off Rey and flopped down beside her.

Poe got up and grabbed a few washcloths and some water and Finn curled into Rey’s side again and let Poe clean them off. Rey stroked the side of his face and tucked his head into her shoulder.

“That was amazing,” she said softly. “You two are beautiful together and it felt so good.”

“You’re beautiful yourself, love,” Poe said climbing into bed on the other side of Finn and wrapping his arms around his waist and holding on to Rey’s hand. Poe pressed a soft kiss into the nape of Finn’s neck. “Thank you for that, darling. And you too, Rey.”

“I should be thanking you,” Finn mumbled, his eyelids refusing to stay open.

“I never imagined it could feel like that,” Rey said.

“Well next time, I think I’d like a taste,” Poe told her.

“I think that can be arranged,” Rey laughed.

Finn drifted off with the two of them talking softly to each other and stroking him gently, pressing kisses into his skin smiling because he finally had exactly what he’d always wanted.

\---

A couple of nights later, Rey sat with Poe and Finn on the grassy plateau that served as their temporary new rec hall. They hadn’t set up a permanent one yet, as it was less of a priority than setting up comm units and solar cells. Instead they just dragged some spare furniture and solar lamps out and scattered it around the grass.

She and Finn sat on the ground where BB-8 was teaching them a new card game while Poe was reading through a report on one of the couches. She was leaning back against the couch and Finn had a hand resting lightly on her knee.

“Girl! High five!” Jess shouted excitedly flopping down beside Poe and holding her hand out.

Finn and Poe turned to Rey looking for an explanation. She just shrugged, aware that everyone on the plateau was staring at them.

“She told me what happened after the party,” Jess said.

“I see,” Poe said.

“Sorry,” Rey said.

“You should also know I offered to get back at you for it. Rey wouldn't let me though. But if you pull that shit again, I will shave your head while you sleep.”

“What is it with you and my hair?” Poe rolled his eyes.

“It's too nice. Not fair to the rest of us. And you,” Jess poked Rey’s shoulder. “You are giving me details later.”

Finn and Poe both still looked mildly concerned. Rey realized they might not want her to know that much about their sex life and that really she should consult with them before sharing anything with Jess.

“No one’s shaving anyone's head and there really isn't a whole lot to tell,” Rey said.

“I find that very hard to believe.”

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, Jess,” Finn said. “Gentlemen don’t either.”

“Fine, I’ll let you lovebirds be,” Jess rolled her eyes and got up to see what Snap and Karé were up to on the other end of the plateau. “But don’t think this is the end of it, Rey.”

“I told her before she wasn’t allowed to shave your head,” Rey said.

“She’s been threatening to do that since we met,” Poe shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Be a shame if she did,” Finn said lowly. “I’d miss pulling it.”

“Mmm ok, B, I think it’s time I take these two to bed,” Poe said, standing up and pulling Finn and Rey up with him.

BB-8 grumbled about how she’d been winning their game but she put her cards down and headed towards the droid recharge station.

Finn and Rey let Poe lead them off to their hut for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title also from [Truth No. 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7qlp-gxESM) by the Dixie Chicks.

**Author's Note:**

> Join me on [tumblr](http://morganeilish.tumblr.com/) to flail about how much we love these idiots.


End file.
